Family
by NeuroticNerd
Summary: Things worked out a little differently than everyone thought they would. Harry's parents are alive and well and Harry has a little sister, and everyone seem pretty happy. But Harry is missing something. And along comes Severus Snape. slash HP/SS AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Heey. So, new story :) This one is finished, and it's short (only twelve chapters). The next chapter will be from Harry's point of view, and it goes on like that, one chapter from Snape's POV, one from Harry's, one from Snape's etc… Hope you like it and please review and favourite and put it on your alerts list!

/

Chapter 1

Also Known As The Elephant In The Room

_Severus_

Severus looked up at the house for almost a whole minute before stepping in through the gate. It looked so utterly normal and suburban and muggle that it was hard to believe that it was the home of Lily Evans and James Potter. Oh, of course, she'd taken his name now so it was Lily Potter. That kept slipping from Severus' mind.

The house had two stories and a loft or an attic it looked like. It was big, too big for a family of four, in Severus' opinion. At least it wasn't in one of those muggle neighbourhoods where all the houses were identical. The houses on this lane at least had some originality.

Severus walked up the gravel path to the Potter house and stepped over what looked like some sort of colourful toy, but he had no idea how you used it or why. The thought of Lily, picking the toy out in a store made him seriously consider his sanity. Lily, the brilliant potion maker, a wife and mother of two? No.

He was at the door now and he could still turn back. The thought was very appealing but he'd promised he'd visit if he was in town, and he'd never break a promise to Lily. It wasn't his fault that he'd been able to avoid 'being in town' for, what was it now, 15 years? No, 14 years.

He knocked, rapping his knuckles against the door quickly, and then there was no return. He heard steps and a voice on the other side of the door and he braced himself, stepping back and finding that he wondered how he looked which hadn't happened since... he couldn't remember.

The door opened sharply and the mildly smiling Lily looked at him questioningly before she realised who it was.

"Severus!" she said and hugged him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Lily", he said and breathed in her scent, which was still the same.

She stepped back and looked at him, examining him. "You're still not eating enough I see", she said and practically beamed. He'd missed her smile.

He smiled back and she answered by pulling him in to the house with her. "Where are my manners! Come in! I can make tea if you want? Oh, you drink coffee right?"

"I'm fine, Lily", he said and thought about how much he liked saying her name like this, like it was completely normal.

The hall that they came in to was big and seemed to stretch throughout the house, opening to other rooms every now and then. The house was messy, but not disturbingly so, just homey. Lily walked around picking up stray clothing and toys and books everywhere she went and Severus followed her, idly watching the pictures on the walls and the decorations. They ended up in a kitchen, a big counter in the middle of it and a pale yellow colour on the walls. On one wall there was a big window facing the front yard's green lawn and the empty street beyond that.

"I'm sorry it's so messy", Lily said. "Harry - you remember Harry, right? Anyway, Harry is staying here for the summer and he just can't seem to keep all his things in one place! And Alice isn't any better."

Severus didn't say anything, he just leaned against the doorframe and when Lily turned around she smiled like she knew that he didn't care about the mess.

"Gosh", she said quietly. "How long has it been now?"

"Fourteen years since I was here last", Severus said and sat down by the tall counter.

"Fourteen years", Lily repeated.

"This place is nice. I like it better than the first one", he said, but he was lying. The Potter's first house had been a small - at least compared to this one - brick house in a wizarding suburb of London, a smaller place than this tiny Godric's Hollow village even. It had been more Severus' style, small, slightly dodgy, dark and as far from muggle like as possible.

"I should reprimand you for not visiting", Lily complained and put down a cup of hot, steaming, black coffee in front of Severus.

"You should", Severus agreed and sipped the coffee.

"But you've been busy, right?" she said and sounded knowing and disappointed.

"I have", Severus agreed.

"So I'll just jump straight to the 'what have you been up to?'", she said and stared at Severus as if she expected someone to come and tell her he was all in her imagination.

"I've been... Travelling. Working", he said and Lily leaned in, intrigued.

"I don't get details? None at all?"

"I guess I've also been breathing. Eating, sleeping..." he said with a small smile, teasing her. She slapped his arm in a playful manner.

"Fine. Be secretive then."

"It seems like your life has been considerably more exciting than mine", Severus said.

"Maybe", she said and then shone up. "You haven't met Alice, have you?"

Alice. It suited the daughter of Lily. More than Harry anyway, which Severus expected had been her dear husband's suggestion.

"James took her to see Harry play, but they should be back soon. You'll stay for dinner, right?"

"If you want me to."

"Of course! It won't take long, I should get started with dinner soon. Harry plays sort of an amateur..." she tried to explain but trailed off. "I don't think I've quite understood it. He doesn't play professional quidditch though, even though James says he skilled enough for it."

"Oh", Severus said. He vaguely remembered a small toddler running around with that signature scar and James' messy black hair. But that had been such a long time ago, Harry Potter had to be... Nineteen now.

"How old is Alice?" Severus asked.

"Oh, she turns twelve in October", Lily said, pouring herself a cup of tea. "She's gotten so big."

And then they talked about her children, Harry and Alice. She talked about how they were doing in school and, in Harry's case, at work. He was an Auror now, she told him, but Severus had known that. The Prophet had followed the boy around ever since that spell had bounced off his head when he was one year old. Severus hadn't followed the papers' report on him, but he knew the basics. He knew who he associated with, where he worked, he knew his family, he knew what his OWL-grades were, he'd even read an article about his favourite dessert, which was treacle tart. The whole of Britain knew that and a lot more.

And then they talked more about what Severus had been doing and Lily got her precious details. Severus told her about the travels and the work and the potions research. He thought she'd find it interesting and she did. He told her about the people he'd met and the places he'd been and she sounded jealous. It gave him some satisfaction, to hear that she was jealous of his life.

"Taste", she said and held out a spoon of some sauce that had been puttering on the stove.

"Good", Severus said and licked his lips. "I didn't know you could cook."

"Potion making is very similar to cooking, I found out", she said and Severus smiled.

Then she looked out the window almost instinctively, and said, "Look, they're here."

A few seconds later there was noise at the door and Severus clenched his jaw together. He hoped that Potter would just ignore the elephant in the room, just like he and Lily had.

"Hey! Victory!" Potter's familiar voice shouted and there was a bustle down the hall and then they had made it to the kitchen.

Severus heard them quieten as soon as they came through the door. He turned around slower than he had to and tried to not look imposing or unimposing, just normal and not hostile.

Potter was carrying his daughter over his shoulder, and she was shrieking out in laughter. He had stopped dead in his tracks and now he was looking between Severus and Lily. He didn't even have to take that second to recognise Severus like Lily had, he'd recognised him right away.

He looked the same, except for a few grey specks in his hair and a more weather-beaten look.

He put his daughter down slowly and she looked up at Severus with big eyes. She was pretty, she had long, dark, reddish brown hair with short bangs hanging down in her eyes. She had light brown eyes, Severus could see even from that distance.

"Mum?" she asked, of course feeling the tension.

Lily took her oven mittens off and smiled an honest smile. "Sweetie, this is Severus", she said and put a hand on Severus' arm.

"Hi", she said slowly and then looked up at her father, who had his gaze set on Severus.

"Okay", Lily sighed. "Go change then, honey."

"Okay", she said and ran out of sight, down the hall, her footsteps thundering in the stairs.

"And put the dirty clothes in the laundry bin!" Lily shouted after her.

She walked up to Potter and kissed him, smiling apologetically. "So he won?"

"Yeah", he said dismissively. "What...?" Potter pushed her away and took a step towards Severus.

"Severus stopped by", she said tensely.

"I see that", Potter said.

"He's staying for dinner", she said and Severus wished he was somewhere else, somewhere where Potter wasn't glaring at him, hugging Lily possessively to his side.

"Well. All right", he coughed and the tension released slightly.

"Where's Harry?" Lily asked and they were past that awkward moment.

"He's out by the car. Unloading some stuff. What's for dinner?" he asked and walked past Severus looking down into a bubbling pot.

"Pasta", she said, still sounding relieved that they hadn't fought and blown up half the kitchen or something.

"Mum", there was a voice from the door and Lily lit up again.

"Harry! The man of the hour!"

She hugged the dark haired boy standing by the door and he dropped a bag on the floor.

"So you've heard we won", he said and brushed a dark lock of hair from his face. "Hi", he added and looked at Severus with a friendly smile.

"Oh, right, do you remember Severus?"

Potter the younger frowned. "Maybe."

"You were much younger when we met last time", Severus said and hoped that that could pass for a good comment.

"Anyway, you were wonderful out on the field!" James changed the subject. He seemed to have swelled like a proud dad did. He smiled and patted Harry's shoulder.

"It was a team effort", Harry said and smiled, looking a little embarrassed.

"Of course, but that dive you made!" he turned to Lily who looked like she was trying hard to get genuinely excited. She never was much for sports. "Forty minutes in, the other team is up 30 points, and it looks like the end is near. Then-" Potter gestured dramatically, "Then he spots the Snitch like 50 feet beneath him!"

"More like 30 feet", Harry mumbled and Severus smiled slightly.

"50 feet! And he dives and it's so close and he chases the Snitch around the entire field-"

"Not the entire field", Harry said, but he sounded amused.

"And then he catches it!"

Alice stormed in to the kitchen now, cheering.

"And the crowd roared!" Potter grinned at his daughter and Lily chuckled.

Harry shook his head. "Yeah, yeah, we can all agree that I was brilliant. Now is dinner finished soon or...?"

"Right!" Lily exclaimed and waved her wand, rushing over to the stove and the pots, turning the warmth down. "Everyone, wash your hands!"

**/**

**A/N: **So this chapter was more of a preview, no exciting things happening in this one. Hope you liked it, and you can look forward to a new chapter in a week or so. :)

It's obviously a AU, hope you caught that. In my mind everything has happened as close to canon as possibly, except that Harry grew up with his parents, which didn't die. So Voldemort is dead, and has been since about when Harry was seventeen. Use your imagination for the rest. And to those of you who celebrate Easter, have a happy one!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Smoking Kills

_Harry_

Harry took a drag on his cigarette and breathed out slowly, letting the smoke escape from his mouth in lazy puffs.

He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. Ah. This was living. Well, no, sitting behind his parents' toolshed, secretly smoking wasn't living, but it was close.

He opened his eyes again and stared into the thick bush at an insect stuck in a spider web. He tog another drag of his cigarette and watched as the spider inched closer and closer to its prey...

"Smoking is bad for you", a voice said and Harry started, scrambling to his feet.

"Shit! Merlin, you scared me!" he exclaimed and then stared at Severus Snape's dark clad figure.

He looked back at the cigarette in his hand. Crap. Crap, crap, crap.

"I won't tell your mother, don't worry", he said and smiled slightly. There was something odd about him, maybe it was that Harry could never really tell what he was thinking, or maybe it was the black clothes or maybe it was those dark eyes. Harry didn't know but it made him uncomfortable, and he didn't know if it was in a good way or not.

"Thanks", Harry said and studied the man's features. He was handsome in a sort of dark way, slim and ill-boding. A sort of depressed bad boy, Harry thought with a smile. "Mum would kill me if she knew I smoked."

"Smoking could too", the man said with a slight smirk.

"I don't think that a few cigarettes will kill me", Harry said with a smile.

"You never know", he said and reached his hand out. "Give it to me."

"Fine", Harry grumbled, but then to his surprise Snape took a deep drag too.

Harry laughed. "I think I do remember you."

He was quiet but his look encouraged Harry to keep talking.

"Yeah, you came to visit us when I was little, right?" Harry continued. "That was the time I fell, wasn't it? I chapped my knees pretty bad, and you fixed me."

"Yes", he said and dropped the cigarette on the ground, putting it out with his shoe.

"Thanks for that", Harry said and pulled his wand out. "For the smell", he explained and Snape stood still as he performed a simple anti-stink spell on first himself and then Snape.

Harry stepped closer and put his face close to Snape's neck and breathed in, his eyes lingering maybe a little too long on his lips before he looked up. "Yeah, you're clean."

"Thank you", Snape said smoothly as Harry leaned back.

No, no. No flirting with mother's friends, Harry thought as he made his way back to the house, quicker than suitable. But what was the harm, really? A little flirting had never killed anyone.

/

Ron laughed at Alice's grimace and Harry tapped his foot against the doorframe impatiently.

"Stop messing around, Ron. We gotta get going", he said and Ron ruffled Alice's hair.

"Yeah, yeah. See you, Alice."

"Bye, Alice! We'll be back in half an hour so wait until we come to burn the house up, okay?"

"Okay!" Alice shouted after them. "See you, Rabbit!"

Ugh, Harry hated that nickname. It was a play with Hare, which had been Harry's nickname a few years ago, and of course the fact that his sister was called Alice. Like Alice and the white rabbit.

Harry ran ahead out to the street and soon Ron was at his heels. "Your sis is funny, you know."

"Yeah, she really cracks her classmates up. And you of course, but you have the mind of an eleven year old, so there's no big difference there, right?" Harry teased and upped his pace.

"Shut up", Ron grumbled and started running slowly after Harry. "Why are you in such a hurry anyway, she's my girlfriend."

"I just wanted to be there to welcome her. She went to the trouble of getting a train ticket, shouldn't we be at the train station then?" Harry asked and walked across the road.

"Dad rode with a muggle train last year, it's really not that difficult", Ron complained. "You buy a ticket, you get on the train, a guy goes around and does something with the tickets so they know you've payed and then it's just to get off at the right station... Um, that's were dad made a mistake."

Harry laughed. "Your dad's still obsessed with the muggle stuff?"

Ron sniffed. "Yeah. It isn't called obsession for nothing."

The small train station was close now, they could see the building rising up at the end of the street. The train station was in the outskirts of town, just ten minutes away from Harry's house and the rest of the suburb's lush trees, green lawns and homely houses.

The train had already pulled up to the station and the sleek silver monster was just waiting for them impatiently. It was very different from the Hogwarts Express, but there were lots of different kinds of trains, weren't there?

Ron had taken the lead now, Harry guessed that he'd finally realised that he was going to see his girlfriend.

Hermione was sitting on a bench by the train, reading, when they got there. She looked up and smiled when they shouted her name and put the book away in her giant bag.

"Jeez, did you bring everything you own?" Harry asked, but realised that the couple wasn't paying much attention to him. Harry turned away from his snogging friends and looked into the forest on the other side of the train track. "Tell me when you're finished."

"Harry!" Hermione pounced on Harry, enveloping him in a tight hug.

Harry finally broke free of the hug. "Blame Ron for being late."

Ron shrugged and smiled, throwing an arm over her shoulders. "Sorry, sweetie. Carry our bags, servant", he said to Harry.

"Oh no, lazy. She's your girlfriend, you carry her bags."

"Guys, I can carry my own bags", Hermione said and both boys grinned.

"The problem solved itself!"

/

Harry climbed the ladder to the treehouse, levitating the drinks above him. He put them down on the temporary table and waved his wand, watching the steps melt into the tree.

"God, I haven't been up here in years", Harry said and gave Ron and Hermione their butterbeers. He took a gulp of his own and leaned back against the wooden wall.

He'd built the treehouse together with his dad and uncle Sirius and Remus when he was seven, and the last time he'd been there was when he'd gone up there to get his old comics when he was fourteen. It was made of old planks and leftover wood that they had nailed together as best as they could. The result was actually better than expected. They had painted it in red and gold stripes and it had been Harry's favourite place for years. When they'd had Alice it had been a place for him to get away from all the crying and the fussing about the baby and then when he got a little bigger he'd liked to go up there to have some peace and to read.

It felt tiny now, but of course it was made for a seven year old. You could only stand on your knees, but that was enough.

"It could need some curtains or something", Hermione commented and Ron laughed.

"That's so typically girly", Ron commented and gave a reluctant Hermione a peck on the cheek.

"What?" she said, sounding upset.

"'Mione, please. None of the feminist stuff, that gives me a headache", Harry said and Hermione huffed.

"Just saying, you don't have to be a girl to have a sense of fashion and style."

"Right, you could also be a fa..." Ron cut himself off slowly and his eyes snapped over at Harry.

"What?" Harry said with a small smile. "You can say it. Fag. Not the word I'd prefer, but, you can say it if you want to."

Ron had paled. "Sorry... I..."

"Ron, don't be such a wimp", Harry continued and Hermione broke out in giggles. "It's fine."

Ron looked relieved. The gay thing wasn't really a problem, it was just that Ron forgot sometimes. He'd make a comment and then remember and freeze up. It was an old habit, that was hard to shake and Harry understood that.

The freezing up afterwards showed that he just didn't want to hurt Harry, and that was kind of sweet. The comments didn't really shake him anyway, they weren't directed at him and Harry never felt like they were about him anyway.

Harry took another sip from his butterbeer and the sweetness spread in his mouth leaving a fuzzy coat over his teeth and tongue.

"So..." Hermione began and Harry rolled his eyes.

"No. I'm not talking about my many, many lovers", Harry said and started looking for the cigarettes he'd hidden the last time he'd been there.

"That many?" Ron asked. "And no chicks?"

"Of course there were girls too", Harry said distantly. "I'm not limited to just one sex. Ah!"

Harry triumphantly held the cigarettes up.

"Harry, not here", Hermione complained and covered her nose. "They smell like..."

"...shit", Ron ended, but they didn't have to worry. There was a shout from below and Harry hurried to put the cigarettes away.

"So here you are", Harry's mum said, her and Harry smiled.

"Yeah. Here we are."

Harry's mother looked around with a silly smile on her face and then she sighed. "Well. Good someone's using this."

"Mum? Did you want anything?" Harry asked, slightly impatiently.

"Oh, right, dinner's ready."

/

Harry rolled his eyes at Ron as his dad told a dramatic and loud story about something that happened at work.

"... and guess what? He actually did it!" he ended with a big laugh, his face red with excitement.

Oh, dad, Harry thought and sighed. Harry loved his father, but he was just so... Over the top, all the time. Alice adored him and Harry understood that, when he was eleven he'd adored his father too. But that was it, his humour suited an eleven year old, not a nineteen year old.

He wasn't stupid or anything, oh no, he was a great wizard, but he never seemed to take anything seriously.

Harry looked over at Hermione and Ron, Ron was stifling a laugh and Hermione was smiling heartily.

"James, please", his mum said, but couldn't keep down a smile.

Harry coughed. "Yeah, thanks for dinner mum. And the entertaining story."

"Yes, young man, that is how you tell a compelling story. You're welcome for the life lesson", his dad said, a big grin on his face, and Harry made a face.

"Yeah, thanks, dad", Harry mumbled and took his dishes out to the kitchen.

**A/N: **Decided to let you have another chapter sooner than planned. Hope you liked it! Please let me know what you think :)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Not At All On Purpose

_Severus_

He hadn't imagined it. Potter, the younger, had definitely flirted. He shouldn't be flirting at that age, Severus certainly hadn't been. But maybe he had, he couldn't remember. That was another reason for him to not flirt with Severus. The boy was nineteen and Severus couldn't even remember being nineteen.

Severus poured the ground beetles in the puttering potion and watched as the liquid slowly turned from red to green. He was quite proud of the fact that he didn't even have to look at the recipe, he knew most common potions by heart.

He cut up the shrivelled snail and frowned at the smell. After tipping the snail into the cauldron, he covered it up and left it to simmer.

Potter snuck back into his head and he closed his eyes, trying to not be that disturbing person who remembered the smell and feel of nineteen year olds.

/

He hadn't forgotten it on purpose. He swore he hadn't forgotten it on purpose, but his unconscious made him feel guilty anyway.

He walked up the path to the house and repeated it in his head. He had forgotten his coat, could he please have it now, no, he couldn't stay, he was in a hurry. Yes.

He hesitated before he brought his knuckles down on the door. He could just pretend he hadn't noticed his coat was gone. No, that wouldn't be believable. Furthermore, he needed his coat.

His knuckles rapped sharply on the door and it opened unnaturally quick. Potter looked up at him and then smiled.

"We have a doorbell, you know", he said and Severus couldn't help but smile too.

"Well", Severus said and then they were quiet. Right. "I forgot my coat."

Potter was maybe just a few centimetres shorter than him, but he seemed to look up every time he talked to him anyway.

"Oh. Well, you can come in and I'll see if I can find it", he said and disappeared back into the house.

He shouldn't have followed him in, and yet he did. Shit.

He walked on in the familiar corridor and then Potter dove out in front of him, from a door under the staircase.

"Sorry..." he said, biting his lip. "We usually keep stuff like coats and shoes in here, but I can't find it. I could look upstairs, in the laundry basket, but... Do you want some tea or something while I go, um, do that?"

Severus started to nod and then caught himself. "No, I'm in sort of a hurry."

There was a flicker of something in Potter's eyes - disappointment maybe?- before he gave a sharp snap to his head.

"Oh, sure. I'll just go and..."

And he jogged up the steps to the upper floor, leaving Severus looking at some old photos of the family, on a camping trip maybe, because there were tents set up behind them. His eyes drifted over to the hideous flowery card with the greetings, 'Merry Christmas from the Dursleys', written inside it.

"Couldn't find it", Potter said behind him, and he turned around slowly. He still had the card in his hand and Potter looked down at it, with those bright green eyes. "Yeah, that's from my aunt Petunia. She's horrible."

Severus gave a small smile. "She really is."

Potter looked curious. "You know Petunia?"

Severus took his time putting the card back where it was before he answered. "I knew her, yes. The Evans's lived in my neighbourhood when we were little."

Potter laughed. "So you haven't met their son?"

"My God, she reproduced?" he said and Potter laughed.

"Yeah. He's such a whale of bully, dear little Dudley. Last time we were there I was thirteen and mum yelled at me for turning his dinner plate into a frog."

Potter smiled fondly at the memory and Severus smirked.

"That doesn't sound very Gryffindorly of you", he said as Potter walked past him towards the kitchen.

"No, it wasn't. You sure you don't want tea or coffee or something?"

"I guess I..." Severus started and Potter seemed to take that as a yes.

"Great", he said and Severus followed his jumpy steps into the kitchen. He sat down by the bench in the middle of the room, and watched as Potter started preparing tea.

"Are you home alone?" he asked in what seemed like a nice tone.

"Yeah, mum, dad and Alice went shopping for school supplies. I had a few friends over for a couple of days, but you just missed them", he said, sounding disappointed. When Severus didn't say anything, he continued, "Ron and Hermione have been my friends for ages, but it wasn't until last summer they realised that they were madly in love with each other. It was kind of obvious to everyone else."

Severus smiled as Potter talked and waved his wand around, filling a kettle with water and putting in on the stove. Then he turned to Severus, a smile playing on his lips.

"What do you do?" he asked, tilting his head slightly to the right.

Jeez, did he know how delicious he looked like that? He shouldn't be doing things like that, certainly not on purpose. Because it had to be on purpose, no one looked like that incidentally.

"I... I'm a Potions Master, so I..." he searched for words to what he did, it was hard to explain. "I travel and people hire my services."

"'Hire your services'? You sound like a-" Potter looked up with a slightly startled look on his face. "I did not just imply that you were a prostitute."

The statement and Potter's embarrassed face made him laugh again. "No, I'm not a prostitute. People hire me to do complicated potions, things they can't do themselves. Though I suspect that a prostitute would be better payed."

Potter smiled at that.

"Your mother told me that you were an Auror?" he made it sound like a question, to make Potter keep talking. Severus liked it when he talked, he looked so alive when he gestured with his hands and shaped his face into suiting expressions.

"Oh yes, I followed in my parents footsteps", he said, and Severus detected a slight bit of bitterness in his voice.

"But you work in different departments?" he asked and Potter nodded as he retrieved the tea pot from the stove and started pouring the steaming water into two cups.

"Yeah. I deal with the more serious things, like finding Death Eaters and then I deal with Azkaban escapes and stuff like that. Dad trains newbies and mum works with security", he listed it like one would list groceries or something like that, and it was slightly disturbing.

"Do you like it?" he asked and Potter gave him a surprised look as he handed him his cup.

"Well, yeah. Sort of", he said and then hesitated. "It does get a bit... Too much sometimes, but mostly I like putting the bad guys away."

He had ended with a grin, that could be taken as confident or overconfidently covering-something-up, and Severus, ever so positive, chose the latter. He didn't comment. That was Potter's business, not his.

"It's amazing how much you look like your father", he said instead.

"Thanks?" he said, and leaned against the counter. "Just what is the deal with you and dad? He didn't exactly seem welcoming before."

Severus looked down into his tea, like that would help. "You'd have to ask your father."

Potter laughed. "Why? Now you've got me curious."

"Well, that wasn't my intention", he said and Potter took a loud sip from his tea. "Your father and I just didn't get along too well."

"Why?" Potter asked again and Severus smirked, even though he shouldn't be talking to Potter about this, much less enjoying it.

"Well, I was friends with your mother, and I was also... Well, I was a Slytherin."

Potter's reaction to that was amusing, he scrunched up his face like he knew what was coming. "Oh. I get it now."

"Yes", he continued. "So we weren't exactly friends."

"Dad talked about you after you left", Potter said, quietly this time.

"I have a pretty good idea about what he said", he said and Potter looked apologetic.

"He's really... Yeah. But it wasn't that bad, he just... Well, he was just sorta..."

"It's fine", Severus said, even though the thought of James Potter talking to this pretty creature about him made him want to wrench someone's neck off. "I'm not very likeable."

"That's not true", Potter said, a small, teasing smile playing on his lips. "I like you."

**A/N: **Duhnuhnuh. Exciting, huh? Please leave a review or comment and let me know what you think :]


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Hey! Thank you so much for all the nice and helpful reviews! All of them make my day, they really do! Enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 4

Featuring Mario The Cat

_Harry_

Slytherin. A lot older than Harry. All dark and brooding and yummy and irresistible. Jeez, where did this man come from? The ultimate bad boy, so not-good-for-him and forbidden. He drew Harry to him like a magnet.

They talked for hours that afternoon and Harry couldn't remembered he'd laughed that much with someone he'd barely just met.

And then Snape said that he had to leave, when it had already grown dark outside. He walked past Harry to put his cup, with the forgotten and cold tea in it, in the sink and Harry kept leaning over the counter, arching his back just a little bit, his ass there for Severus Snape's taking. Harry waited in anticipation to see if he'd take the bait, but he didn't and he almost groaned in frustration. He had to stop doing that, he wasn't some drama queen.

"Thank you for the tea", Snape said by the door to the kitchen and Harry stood.

"Yeah, no problem", he said and Snape frowned at the obvious disappointment in his voice. "I guess I'll see you around?"

"Maybe", Snape said and stalked to the door in his usual way, domineering and harsh, and still managing to be oddly elegant.

Harry waited as he took his clothes on and then remembered. "Wait, I'll just... I'll be back in a sec."

Harry ran up to the hallway in the upper floor and opened the closet closest to the stairs. "Yes!" he shouted, a little too triumphantly.

He ran down again to the patiently waiting Snape.

"See, I found it", Harry said and handed him the dark coat, his fingers brushing by Snape's as he took it.

He looked up into those dark eyes and thought, what the heck. Why not?

And then he kissed him, just a peck, his lips barely touching Snape's.

He pulled back slightly, searching his eyes for something, lust or want, maybe? Something else than just that blank stare.

"Are, um..." Harry didn't really know what he was asking, but he had to say something to break that awkward silence. "You gonna kiss me back?"

"That would be a terrible idea", he said quietly, almost not moving his lips.

"I love terrible ideas", Harry retorted and earned an amused smirk.

He did kiss him back, slower and more heated. Well, passionate, but that word was so... It sounded so adult and final and serious that Harry avoided it.

Harry couldn't remember he'd ever been kissed like this. Snape dropped his jacket on the floor and brought his arms up to Harry's face, drawing him in deeper, tasting him, melting into him. His tongue moved (inside Harry's mouth, Harry thought excitedly) in slow circles against Harry's tongue, making Harry's legs all weak.

They probably would have kept going for hours unless the sound of keys rasping against the lock of the door made them jump away from each other.

Harry just had time to wipe his mouth in a hurried sort of terror before his mum stepped in through the door, Alice jumping after her, shouting something about popsicles.

The hall was suddenly crowded and full of people talking, Snape explaining he had to leave, that he'd just popped in to get his jacket (like they hadn't spent hours talking), and then Snape was gone with a last polite glance towards Harry.

"Harry?" his mum begged, looking down at his sugar high little sister and Harry got her hint and dragged her off to her room.

"We got popsicles", she stated loudly and sat down by her small desk littered with all her pink and glittery crap, spinning slightly in her chair. "Bet you're regretting not coming now, aren't you?"

"Don't be such a pain", Harry said and she raised her eyebrows, a new expression she'd taken on recently.

"If you don't wanna talk then get out of my room", she said and Harry sighed.

"Good point", he said and she looked pleased.

Harry looked around at the unicorn posters and the bookshelves with books like 'Ellen and Sugarhoof ' and 'Little Rainbow's amazing journey' and all the arts and crafts things. She was so girly it was unbearable.

"Did you get any new stuff then?" Harry asked.

"Yeah. I'll show you later", she said and smiled cheekily. "That Snape guy was here again."

Harry threw himself in her bed with the pink and white bed cover and answered, "Yeah. So what?"

"What's he like?" she asked, spinning another lap in her chair.

"I dunno", Harry said. "You should have talked to him last time, instead of hidden behind dad."

"I didn't hide behind dad!" she said defensively, and then went on, "What were you doing?"

"Jeez, Alice, he just came to get his coat. Stop with the interrogation", Harry snapped and her eyes widened.

"You like him, _don't you?_" she said in a delighted squeal.

She'd known he was interested in guys ever since last year, when she'd seen him with a classmate of his in school. Then when they'd gone home for Christmas she'd announced to their parents that she'd 'seen Harry kissing a boy'. That had been awkward, to say the least. His dad's grin had stiffened into some sort of grimace and his mum had let out some sort of a small squeak. On New Year's Eve, when they'd had enough time to adjust, they'd had a talk with him about natural and normal urges and them loving him no matter what. That had been outright embarrassing.

"Don't be daft, he's mum's friend", Harry said and she dropped it, even though Harry wasn't sure she really believed him.

/

The sun was nearly setting, it was late in the evening and the smell of barbecue was still in the air, even though they'd put the fire out a while ago.

Harry leaned back in his chair and wished he was somewhere else, somewhere where his dad and Uncle Sirius weren't being obnoxious, telling stories that took place 'back in the old days'.

Harry sighed and Uncle Remus next to him let out a small laugh.

"They could go on for days", Harry mumbled and Remus' laugh ebbed out into a smile.

"Yeah. But let them have their fun", he said and Harry made a grimace.

"Isn't it sad that they had their prime years in school?" Harry asked, turning more to Remus, who looked thoughtful.

"Don't say that. James had lots of proud moments after school. He got married, had you two..."

"Yeah, he had sex, what an accomplishment", Harry said and Remus looked like he didn't know if he should laugh or be worried.

"No, he became a father. That's pretty big", Remus continued and looked at his wife and son over at the other side of the yard.

"Maybe you're right", Harry said and took a sip of his beer. "You usually are."

"Anyway, haven't we all had some good years in school?" he asked and then seemed to regret it.

Harry had spent his school years training and then fighting Voldemort. But he couldn't deny that he'd had some good times too, even though people seemed to overlook that.

"I think I'm gonna hit the sac before they start talking about..." Harry began and was interrupted by a loud shout of "...and the dragon!" Too late.

"Harry, come here!" his dad shouted and Harry groaned under his breath. Now it was time for his father to be ridiculously proud about Harry's participation in the Triwizard Tournament, ending with the comment, "Sad about that Diggory kid."

"Harry!" he shouted again and Harry managed a weak smile.

"No, dad, I'm going to sleep", Harry said and his dad waved his excuse away, getting up to put his arm around Harry.

"That bloody dragon was _huge_! A Hungarian Horntail, aiming for Harry and then this guy has the smart idea of summoning a broom!" his dad began to his friends, Sirius shouting out a "A gift from me, that was!"

"Dad, I..." Harry said, and his dad patted his back hard, a 'thump,thump,thump' against his ribs.

"And when he grabbed that egg! God, what a skilled swoop that was!"

"_Dad_", Harry snapped and broke free from his dad's half embrace. "Going to bed."

His dad's grin paled for a second before he said good night too and continued his story without Harry.

Remus shot him a concerned look as Harry pushed past him roughly, heading to the gate that led to the front of the house, heading away from the loud party, ignoring his mum's half hearted shouts.

As soon as he was off the front lawn he spun around and Apparated.

/

He hadn't really thought about where he was heading, he'd just thought, 'loud' and 'alcohol', and he'd appeared in an alley by some muggle bar he and some friends (friends other than Ron, friends that shared his 'taste') had visited. It was loud and they had alcohol, so he considered it a success.

There he'd spend a few hours in the loud thumping music, blissfully forgetting, moving up against some unknown sweaty, warm body and tomorrow he'd wake up with the hangover of his life, next to some guy he'd forgotten or never really known the name of. A brilliant plan.

/

Harry woke up early the next day, looking into two big, yellow eyes, staring intently at him from five centimetres away. The cat they belonged to didn't move a muscle as Harry stretched and started looking for his glasses, it didn't even look away from him until he had stalked away to the tiny kitchen of the flat he was in. When Harry found a can of cat food and poured it out on a dish that said 'Mario', the cat purred contentedly before digging in.

Harry looked around him through bleary eyes, at the filthy counter, the old dishes in the sink, and then further away through the open door, the man in the bed. He was - probably- a few years older than Harry, with strawberry blonde hair, a strong build and some sort of tattoo of a tiger on his back, unmoving - so he was probably a muggle. The man was also sound asleep, snoring softly and Harry was glad about that. Now hopefully, he could just sneak out and hope that this guy remembered as little of last night as he did.

No such luck though, since the man started stirring and then opened his eyes and looked with surprise at the empty part of the bed beside him.

"Hey", Harry said and he turned to him sluggishly, slow and maybe not fully awake.

"Hey", he said back and managed a sloppy grin. "I see you fed Mario."

Harry looked down at the cat that was greedily gulping down his food. "Yeah."

The guy rolled to the side of the bed and then stood up, stretching his arms in the morning sun shining through the windows. Well, at least he was good looking.

"Last night, did we...?" Harry asked and the guy grinned sheepishly and nodded. "Oh. And was it me or you who..." What was the muggle word? "...pitched?"

Not really a necessary question, but Harry was curious.

"Both, I think", he said and Harry nodded thoughtfully. Okay, that would explain the soreness.

"Sorry, but if you don't mind I'll just..." Harry said and made a vague gesture towards the door.

"Sure? Don't want breakfast? Tea, coffee?" the guy asked, slowly making his way towards the kitchen.

"Nah. I'm good, I just have to find my clothes and... You know what, got any aspirin?"

The guy gave a knowing smile and started looking though a drawer before procuring the aspirin. "There you go."

Harry downed it without water and then went looking for his clothes, absentmindedly chatting. "This was..."

"A one time thing, yeah", the guy agreed and reached down to stroke Mario behind the ears.

"Great", Harry said as he found his pants and his shirt tucked behind a pillow. "Good that we're clear on that. This was such an epic mistake."

Maybe too harsh. Oh, what the heck, his head was killing him and his underwear was missing, he could be harsh.

"How do you mean? You're not like... Underage or something?" he asked cautiously, looking through his dishes for a clean mug, every clank of porcelain like knife stabs in Harry's pounding head.

"No, no. It's just that I promised my mum and dad that I wouldn't be out whole nights without letting them know and... Yeah", Harry could tell that that had in no way convinced the man that he wasn't underage. "I'm nineteen", he added for good measure.

He'd finally found a mug, so he raised it in a half salute as Harry tiptoed out of the apartment, careful not to make any noise.

/

"Where the-" his dad stopped after a glance at Alice, who was watching the drama with an interested face. "Where the _fudge _have you been?"

"Please don't shout", Harry managed and tried to keep his head from bursting. These muggle medicines certainly didn't work the way they should.

"Do you know how worried we've been?" his mother shouted, slamming her coffee cup down on the floor, staining the new table cloth. "We stayed up all night!"

"Harry, you have to tell us w-" his dad began and Harry put a hand up to stop them.

"I know, I know. It won't happen again."

"He always says that", Alice commented and Harry opened his squeezed together eyes for a second to stick his tongue out at her.

"WHY the HECK is it so hard to leave a BLOODY MESSAGE?" his mum was pronouncing her words carefully and loudly, like Harry was thick or something.

"Dunno, mum", he managed weakly and stole a piece of toast from his sister, despite her protests.

"Well, you're grounded!" his father shouted and Harry grimaced.

"You can't ground me, dad, seeing as I don't live here anymore", Harry said, slouching into a chair by the breakfast table.

"Sleeping under this roof counts as living here, Harry Potter", his mum said sternly, continuing even louder when Harry tried to interrupt, "_even_ if it's only for the summer till your flat is built up again. Which you should also be grounded for, mister! How was it that

you managed to blow it up just three days after you moved in, again?" Harry mumbled something and she leaned in. "What was that?"

"I was trying to drill a hole for the shelf-thingy and I hit a gas line, okay? _Not my fault",_ Harry said slowly and gave her a defiant look. "And now I would like to sleep this off, please."

And he stumbled upstairs, mumbling insults under his breath. How was it that his parents always made him feel like a rebellious teenager?

/

"Harry?"

There was a knock on the door below the staircase that led up to the attic, that had become Harry's bedroom for the summer. All his stuff, including his old bed, had been hauled up there, so when Harry had returned from the battle site formerly known as his flat, he had just decided to sleep there.

Harry buried his face in his pillow and pretended not to be there.

"Harry, I'm coming up!"

It was his dad, slowly messing around with the locking charms Harry had put on the door, until Harry felt merciful, waving his hand and making the door slide open.

Harry heard his dad's steps, heavy against the wooden floor, but he didn't look up. They stopped and then he felt the bed shift as his dad sat down.

"Hey, mate", he said and Harry kept his face in his pillow.

"What?" he asked harshly, his voice muffled.

"It's not an unreasonable demand, Harry", he continued and Harry was quiet. It really wasn't, but Harry didn't want to admit that.

"I'm sorry if I said something to upset you", his dad said, and he did sound sorry, "but it's not all right for you to just disappear off like that."

"Sorry", Harry mumbled and heaved himself to a sitting position, leaning against the wall.

"Where did you go?" he asked and Harry made a face.

"You gonna tell mum?" he asked and his dad shook his head. "I just", Harry looked down at his fingers, fiddling with the hem of his T-shirt. "I just went out drinking."

"Fine", he said and gave a small nod. "It's fine if you wanna do that, I understand, but don't stay out all night. When you're here, you give us a time to come home and you tell us where you're going."

"All right. Sure", Harry mumbled and met his dad eyes. His dad gave a sigh to say that they were all over with this now.

"Okay then. I'll tell your mum how I yelled at you and set you straight and we can forget this whole thing, all right with you?"

"Yeah", Harry grinned as his dad patted his back and started making his way down the stairs.

He turned around and put his finger out and made a reprimanding look that made him look ridiculous. "But you're still grounded, young man."

**A/N: **Lupin's wife is of course Tonks, if you're curious.

I enjoy writing fighting scenes a lot more than I should… I've always imagined that James would be a bit more lenient and Lily more – not strict, but she would be the one thinking about consequenses.

Hope you liked it! Please tell me what you think, I appreciate all your comments!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Hey! Hope you like this chapter… Nothing much happens, but it might be a nice filler chapter anyways?

Chapter 5

Another "Accidental" Visit

_Severus_

It wasn't like he made up excuses to come to the Potter house. He had been invited this time. Lily had called him about some help with a potion. Apparently she had been serious when she'd said they should keep in touch, which Severus hadn't been.

Severus sat in their sofa, feeling awkward, while Lily talked and stirred and offered him more tea or coffee. The fact that it was a really bad idea for him to come back here echoed through his head, repeating and repeating.

The kiss had been _wonderful. _His taste and his smell and how he felt pressed against him, how he looked afterwards, all tousled and his lips all red... That had been so good, but afterwards when he'd gone home he had felt extremely guilty. It was just too wrong to do that with Lily and James Potter's son, who was way too young for him.

And still he was here, because Lily had dragged him here. And then again, Severus could have refused, but he didn't, because a part of him wished that Harry would be there.

It wasn't even a difficult potion, Severus thought with a snort. She had slugs in her backyard and needed a repellant, something she could have just as easily bought or made herself, lord knows she was a just as good potions maker as Severus, if not better.

"Severus?" Lily asked with a small smile. "Are you listening?"

Severus looked up. "Sorry. That was... rude."

"Oh, it's fine", she said, cupping her coffee mug with both hands, rearranging her seat in the arm chair.

"What were you talking about?" he asked and she shook his head.

"No, it doesn't matter. I've been talking all afternoon now", she said and took a sip. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, thanks", Severus said, smiling politely. She had always been this unsettlingly nice. "I didn't get my position as Potions teacher back. I'm waiting to hear from the Ministry."

"Minerva is a fool to not let you back", she said, sounding like she honestly meant it. "Too bad you weren't teaching when Harry was at school."

Hm, yeah, too bad. Then he could have lost his job for being inappropriate. Because he really needed more crap on his record, and he'd heard Azkaban was a really decent place these days. No, that was probably for the best.

"Mum?"

There was a shout from the stairs, accompanied by the thud of footsteps and then Harry stood in front of them, smiling when he saw Severus.

He was wearing only a pale blue T-shirt and some boxers, making Severus want to groan at the very sight of his ass in those... No, he shouldn't think like that.

"Hey", he said and gave a small wave to the both of them. "Mum, do you know where my jeans are? The nice ones with the-"

"What do you need those for?" she interrupted with a disapproving look. "You're still grounded."

Potter leaned against the doorframe and hesitantly started, "But..."

"_No,"_ she said, crossing her arms, the very picture of strict and decisive.

Potter threw his hands up in the air, "All right, fine then. I'll go up again and keep on with my non-life, shall I?"

"Harry, don't be childish."

Severus didn't know where to look, but he certainly wasn't going to get involved in a fight.

"Mum, I was just gonna go over to Ron's, no big deal", Harry said, pleading with his mother.

"I've said no", she said and then turned to Severus. "I'm sorry."

Potter looked at him too and Severus mumbled something about it not being a big deal at all.

And then Lily looked down into her mug, realised that they were both out of coffee and then rushed off to the kitchen with one last angry glare at Harry, who smiled back at her.

"Hi", Potter said, casually strolling closer.

"Hi", he answered and gave a polite smile. "Why are you grounded?"

He shrugged. "I may have stayed out a tad bit too late. But hey, I had fun. It wasn't like I..."

Got raped and killed? Avoided by pure luck.

Potter didn't finish the sentence, instead he leaned forward and kissed him, after a glance at the open door through to the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" Severus snapped quietly, listening for Lily's approaching footsteps and screams.

There was just the slammer of dishes, Lily was probably still fixing coffee or tea or cleaning their old cups.

"Look, we're going away this weekend, but I think I could get some mysterious disease, and stay behind?" He made the last part a question, an invitation. "I'd have the whole house to myself."

"What are you two talking about?" Lily asked from the doorway, looking between them questioningly, two steaming coffee cups in her hands.

"Harry told me you're taking a trip?" Severus asked, just by instinct. He was good at lying.

"Oh, yes", she started with a smile, and then turned to Harry. "Would you please put some pants on."

"Sure, mum", he said and shot Severus a look that he hoped with all his heart that Lily didn't see.

**A/N: **Yeah, I know, short. Review anyways?


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Hey! Hope you had a good weekend! So, new chapter! And (this I probably should have written before this) I really don't want to say that I approve of smoking. I've never smoked, and I never will. I guess it's just Harry's way of trying to be a rebel. And yes, his parents are being slightly nuts. But they still see him as their little boy and they do mean well. Well, hope you like this chapter. :) Please review!

Chapter 6

A Mouthful

_Harry_

He might have been slightly pushy. Not a lot. He had seen that look he'd gotten when he'd walked in in just his underwear.

He looked at himself in the mirror, studied the strong but sleek figure, the suntanned skin under the T-shirt and the well-fitting, although tight jeans. Yeah, that was good enough. With a groan he pulled a hand through his hair that just wouldn't stay flat. There was nothing he could do about that now. Maybe later he should cut it short? Like really short, a crew cut? That would stop it from sticking out like that.

But there was no time for that now, so Harry just tried to flatten it as good as he could, and then he threw himself on his bed and stared up at the wooden boards of the ceiling.

His mum and dad had been ridiculously easy to fool. Just one of those fever candies Ron's brothers sold and a groan about not wanting to leave the bed and he was off the hook.

Now he just had to wait. Suddenly he regretted not giving Snape a time. What if he didn't come until the evening? He'd go crazy waiting.

What if he didn't come at all? That would be disappointing. Very disappointing. Maybe Snape wasn't the type who took almost-strangers up on their one-night stand offers? But it could be more than that, if that was what he wanted. Well, that could happen if he would actually _show up._

Harry pulled out his wand and cast a lazy wingardium leviosa, levitating random objects around the room, making them float around in clumsy patterns. Waiting was excruciatingly boring.

No, this was pathetic. He couldn't just wait around like some lovesick chick, he had to do something.

He jumped up and looked at his watch. Three in the afternoon. Hm. What to do?

He scrambled through the rooms in search of something, finding nothing. He walked through his parents' room, with the large bed and the dressers and arm chairs and pictures of him and his sister. Nothing interesting, and he didn't really want to find anything _interesting _in his parents' bedroom. Yuck.

He walked on through the hallway to the next room and glanced in to Alice's room. Pink and sparkly as usual. He briefly considered looking through her stuff but then he realised he wasn't at all interested in the life of an eleven year old girl.

The room next to that was his old room, which now worked as a sort of storage room. It was stuffed with boxes, some filled with his things and some with his mother's books and some with his sister's old toys.

His walls were still full of his old Quidditch posters, and some old band posters he hadn't bothered to take down.

Then there was the big bathroom they all used, with the (unnecessarily) huge shower and the big bath tub. Harry had always liked this bathroom, especially since he got his own apartment. The bathroom there was tiny and dark compared to this one, and his new bathroom didn't have a window, which was a huge setback.

Opposite the bathroom there was the library or study or potions room or whatever his mum called it, where she went to have some quiet time and read or write on her potions book. It was a hobby of hers, she had apparently been very good at that when she was younger. Harry had seen her concocting potions, and he knew that she was still that good.

When he was little he used to stand outside the door and spy on her, watch her stir some disgusting smelling sludge and then frown and scribble something in her little notebook.

Downstairs there was the kitchen, the dining room, the living room and another smaller bathroom.

And then there was the basement, where his dad had all his stuff. It was sort of his hobby room, where he had all his brooms and bludgers and snitches. He wasn't really the type who locked himself up in a room and spent his time polishing his brooms, so he only really went down there when they were getting ready to play some Quidditch or when he had friends over and got a little tipsy and felt the need to brag and show off his and Harry's trophies.

Harry didn't go down into the basement, so he stood and leaned at the door for a while and then there was a short knock at the door. Yes!

Harry turned around and fitted his features into a positive but neutral expression. It wouldn't do to be too excited.

He swung the door open to a nervous looking Severus Snape. Sweet.

"Hey", Harry said and Snape gave a smile in response. "I wasn't sure you'd come", Harry continued.

"I wasn't either", Snape said and Harry looked down at the floor and stifled a laugh. Such a cliché sentence.

"Wanna come in?" Harry said and he did.

He didn't have a coat this time so there was nothing to take off, so after he closed the door they stood and awkwardly stared at each other.

Harry finally kissed him and it was just as great as before. He really knew how to use his tongue, Harry thought, and couldn't wait to see what that tongue could do in other places.

"I..." Snape said, breaking the kiss. "I'm not sure I'm comfortable just coming here to fuck."

Harry put on an appalled look. "What kind of a person are you? You think this is just about sex?"

Snape looked for something to say, but didn't manage a word.

"Hey, I'm just kidding", Harry said, laughing. "You should have seen your face."

"Not funny", Snape said, but his eyes had a sparkle of laughter in them.

"We don't have to, you know, fuck. We could do something else. Talk?" Harry said, walking towards the kitchen. "I'm tired of tea, do you want something a bit stronger?"

Snape nodded and Harry gave a grin. "Well, all right then."

/

They talked. About how Hogwarts had been and how Harry's work was doing and how Snape's work was doing and they drank. Harry found his dad's firewhisky hidden in a cupboard in the kitchen. He was surely going to get into trouble when they saw that it was empty, but who cared really?

And they kissed. They half sat and half lay on the couch, Snape's hands finding their way in under Harry's shirt, sliding over his warm skin, thin and sleek fingers brushing over his nipples.

Harry was nearly exploding when Snape figured it was time to stop, and he groaned in protest.

"Please?" Harry begged and Snape couldn't seem to help himself, so he leaned in for another kiss.

"No", he said and moved away. "I can't."

"If you really couldn't you wouldn't have come here, now would you?" Harry said, maybe a bit too sharply.

Snape kissed him again, in a needy way, pressing against him, succeeding in shutting Harry up. He tasted of alcohol, just like Harry must taste.

"Make up your mind already", Harry said, smiling against the older man's lips.

"Fine. Let's... Let's do something else. Show me the house", he said, and Harry did, both the first and second floor. He skipped the basement, just like he had before when he was strolling around with nothing to do, because Snape didn't seem like the type of person who enjoyed sports.

Harry talked about unimportant stuff, like where on the staircase he had fallen and broken his leg when he was eight and when they came to his room he talked about all kinds of stuff he had done in there. Mostly stupid stuff, like when he had been smoking weed and his mum had walked in. That had been awkward.

They were in the bathroom and Harry was talking about the time he tried to dye his hair blue, after loosing a bet. The whole bathroom had been full of blue smudges.

"Mum and dad were so pissed", Harry said and smiled a crooked smile.

"That seems like something that happens quite often", Snape said, leaning against the sink.

"Hm... Maybe", Harry said, his smile disappearing. "God, you're very gloomy, you know that?"

Snape smirked. "Yes. So I've been told."

"Have you always been like this?"

"Yes", Snape answered sounding truthful.

Maybe he was a natural mood breaker. But even if he was telling the truth he was only saying his own opinion. Just because he saw himself like a gloomy git it didn't mean that he actually was. Gloominess was in the eye of the beholder.

Harry locked lips with him again, and this time Snape didn't argue any more. He just kissed back, those wonderful hands working their way under Harry's clothes again.

"It feels like this is a little unfair", Harry said, fingering the buttons on Snape's shirt. "You're wearing way too much."

"Mm", Snape agreed, letting Harry slowly work the buttons. "You're really too delicious for your own good", he said and Harry looked up at his smiling face.

Harry grinned. That was a nice compliment.

His fingers fumbled slightly with the last button, but then the shirt was open, and Harry pushed it off his shoulders, revealing the pale, just enough muscled chest.

Harry let his hands roam the skin, and Snape let out a soft breath when he brushed a nipple.

"You're just right", Harry mumbled against Snape's neck, letting his hands explore farther down his chest, teasing the skin just above the edge of his pants.

Snape pushed against him, pushing Harry up against the wall in the shower stall and Harry moaned. God, this was such a... Such a dirty fantasy of Harry's.

They lost their clothes to tugging hands and then Harry was pressed flush against him, Snape's erection pressed against his side, his hands clutching Harry's wrists, holding them against the wall in a firm, but not too hard, grip.

Harry let out a whimper, something most guys found exciting, this little sign of desperation and dependance on their partner. Snape was no exception, he gave a loud groan in response and pushed harder against him.

They were really doing this. Kind of unbelievable. The buzz from the firewhisky was gone now, pushed out of his head by Snape's skilled fingers, replaced by giddy expectation.

And then Harry managed to lean on the switch for the shower and they both froze as the water started pouring down on them.

Okay, minor setback. But hey, maybe for the better. At least the water was warm.

Harry laughed and then they were on each other again, kissing and biting, hands everywhere. Snape licked down his neck, grazing his teeth slightly against Harry's collar bone.

"God, that feels good", Harry let out and he felt Snape smile against his skin.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the cold tiles of the shower wall as Snape closed his mouth around his nipple, flicking his tongue over it. God, his knees were buckling.

Snape was on his knees now, and Harry held his breath. Would he?

His tongue traced his length, sucking the head into his mouth before swallowing the whole thing.

Harry hummed in pleasure. Yes, he would. He definitely would.

"God, you're good at that", Harry mumbled, twisting his fingers in Snape's hair. Snape didn't answer, of course he didn't. He had his mouth full of, well... Full of Harry.

Snape's tongue did some amazing movement and Harry bucked his hips into his mouth, groaning loudly, and then he came. Hard, like 'everything goes black and stars appear'-hard.

When things became clear again Snape was standing up, wiping his mouth, water running from his hair into his eyes.

"Did you like that?" he murmured, next to Harry's ear and Harry nodded.

"Oh, yeah", Harry said, his voice kind of hoarse. "Oh, yeah. That was... That was great."

Harry grinned before turning around to face the wall, feeling Snape's fingers stroke his ass, then feeling them probe at his entrance.

"Is it... Is it okay if I...?" Snape asked and Harry nodded again, bracing himself against the wall.

He felt bigger than he really was, but they always did. He was careful at first, when he pushed in, and that was good, because Harry was very, very aware of the lack of lubrication. But hey, what did it matter? He could afford to be a little sore in the morning.

Snape breathed loudly in his ear as he picked up speed, placing the occasional kiss to Harry's neck or shoulder.

When he came he bit down, making Harry let out a grunt of pain. He tensed and then relaxed, melting into Harry's back.

"Oh, you feel so good" he mumbled and Harry smiled, even though Snape couldn't see his face.

He pulled out slowly and Harry turned around again, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "That was awesome."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Heeey! New chapter! Hope you all had a pleasant weekend. Just a short one, hope you like it!

Chapter 7

Deep Conversations (Or Pillow Talk)

_Severus_

Severus leaned against the headboard of the makeshift bed, rearranging his arm under Harry's relaxed form.

"When are they coming back?" he asked and Potter let out a small yawn before answering.

"This afternoon", he said quietly and Severus could feel the puffs of air against his chest as he spoke.

Outside it had grown dark hours ago, and now the sun was starting to rise again, spreading a pale light through the attic room.

Harry sat up and Severus watched his muscles move under his skin when he stretched.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked, throwing himself back against Severus' chest.

"Yes", Severus said, because he actually had slept well. That was unusual.

"Me too", he said and grinned back at him. "I liked the 'not sleeping' too."

Severus had as well. The sounds Harry had made!

"I'm going to have to leave soon", he said and Harry gave a disappointed noise.

"Have time for another go?" he asked, his voice sounding like he was half joking.

"Always", Severus answered and was rewarded with a kiss.

Harry pulled away and looked at him. "Hey, your eyes are brown, not black."

Severus couldn't help but smile at that. "Really?"

"Well, a very dark brown", he said and placed a sloppy kiss to his jaw, then tilting his head to the right and said with sarcasm, "You seem so interested when I talk."

"Well, eye colour isn't exactly my favourite subject."

Harry gave an amused snort. "Fine. What do you want to talk about?"

They didn't have to talk. Just lying there was fine.

"I don't know", he said.

He was quiet for a while and then he said, "Do you like women too, or is it just men?"

"Just men", he said. "Always has been."

He'd had some awkward encounters with women, but they hadn't ended well.

"Why do you ask?" he said, letting his fingers move over that wonderfully smooth skin. He was so young, so perfect, so... flawless.

"Dunno", Harry mumbled, probably close to falling back to sleep.

"What about you?" he asked.

"Well..." he hesitated. "I'm not sure."

Of course he wasn't sure, he was a teenager. That time was for experimenting, someone had told him, some time.

"I can't think of you with a woman", he said, and it was true. God, he seemed to be telling the truth an awful lot lately.

"Why not?" Harry turned around on his stomach, looking up at him.

"You're..." he hesitated. "Maybe you're too... effeminate for that."

"What?" he spluttered.

"Maybe", Severus said and Harry laughed. "I mean I have a hard time seeing you as the... dominant party."

"So I have to be masculine to be dominant?" he asked and Severus made a face.

"I..."

"You've got yourself in some deep shit now", he said and Severus agreed. "So when a man and a woman have sex, the man is the only one that can be dominant?"

"Well, no. But isn't it... Easier for the man?" he asked and thanked his luck when Harry didn't seem to take offence.

"Do you mean because he's the one who...?" Severus nodded. "So you're saying the one who tops is automatically the dominant one?"

"I don't know what I'm saying..." Severus mumbled.

"But how about oral then?" he asked and Severus closed his eyes.

"I regretted I ever said anything."

"No, seriously", he said and rested his chin on Severus' chest. "That's kind of messed up. The fact that you think that. You've never bottomed, have you?"

He drawled the sentences out like he was talking about what to have for breakfast.

"Why does that matter?" he asked and Harry smirked.

"Well, you wouldn't think that if you had bottomed. I mean, you do have some power as the bottom. Anyway, if the sex is any decent you should", he said, his jaw moving against Severus as he talked. "When I bottom, I choose to... You know, give that to the other guy. My choice, I have the power."

Potter grinned. "And trust me, women always find ways to be dominant."

"When you put it like that, yes", Severus said, swallowing.

"See, when you sucked me off earlier", Harry said with a satisfied smirk. "You were sort of in charge, don't you think?"

"I get it", he answered and put his hands up, "I get it."

"Yeah", he said, kissing the spot where his chin had been. "I'm right."

"Yes, you are", Severus said, as Harry leaned back against him.

"So have you? Bottomed, I mean?" he said and Severus nodded.

"Once or twice. Not very good experiences", Severus said. They hadn't been.

"I'm sorry. And have you never had sex with a woman?"

"Never. I was close a few times, when I was younger, but no", he said. He couldn't even remember the names of those few girls he'd made clumsy come on's to. They had been Hufflepuffs, he remembered, because he'd thought that they would be more welcoming and nice if he didn't get it right at first. They were. But he had still never seemed to get the hang of women.

"You have, I'm guessing?" he continued and Potter shrugged.

"Yeah. I just don't see why I have to choose between the two", he said seriously.

"So you consider yourself bisexual?" he asked and Harry laughed.

"I don't consider myself anything. Why do I have do be anything? Can't I just enjoy, you know, sex?"

"So you're just as attracted to women as you are to men?" Severus asked, and he was actually interested.

"Yeah. Depends what I'm in the mood for", he said and smirked.

"What are you in the mood for now then?" Severus asked and Harry's smirk turned into a big, dirty grin.

"Well..."

/

"You don't have to leave yet", Harry said quietly from his place on the bed.

"Yes, I do", Severus answered. It was midday, almost afternoon, and he did not want to risk bumping into Lily or the Potter senior.

"No, you don't", he said, his hand sneaking around Severus' waist.

"Yes, I do", he repeated with a chuckle.

Harry stood up, hugging him from behind. "No", he whined. "Stay a bit longer."

"I have work", he said, but didn't move away from the warm body behind him. "Harry, I really have to go now."

"All right, then", he said, sounding irritated. "All right. Leave me here then."

Severus smiled. "Yes. I'll be big and bad and leave you all alone."

"So you do understand." His voice was right next to Severus' ear, which made it all that much harder to take a step away from him.

"Bye", he said, letting his eyes roam over the other's naked body, the smooth and tanned skin, the green eyes and the dark, unruly hair.

He brought a hand up to Harry's cheek, and the boy's smile faded.

"When my place is fixed up, would you wanna come over?"

Severus doubted that Harry would want him to come over when his apartment had been mended, but he nodded anyway. Severus suspected that his appeal would be gone when Harry was out of his parents' house, out from under their supervision. This whole _thing_ had been a natural reaction, he had had an affair with Severus just to try to, maybe unconsciously, offend his parents. Severus was fine with that, he couldn't really expect more. Why else would this - fucking perfect - creature screw around with him?

Well, maybe if he had some sort of confidence issue, but that didn't seem to be the case.

"I'll see you around, then?" Harry asked, making Severus smile.

"Yes. See you around."

**A/N: **Hi again. Liked it? Review? (I don't care if I'm a review whore. I want them. I need them. Giiive them to me…!)

I think I have a problem.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Rejoice! New chapter! Hope you like it! Oh, and thanks for the nice reviews and comments!

Chapter 8

Harry And His Ways

_Harry_

"Hey, 'Mione", Harry whispered from behind the girl and she jumped in surprise.

"Jeez, Harry, you scared me", she said and then put her hands down from her heart. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing much", Harry said and picked some strange plastic bag with something that looked like dried worms. "I didn't know they sold potions ingredients at muggle stores."

"That's noodles", Hermione said with a look at the bag. "And how did you find me here?"

"I have my ways, Hermione. I have my ways", he said and gave a mysterious wink.

Really he had gone up to her flat and then when she wasn't there, gone down to her neighbours who said that she might have gone grocery shopping. But that didn't sound as cool, even if he added a mysterious wink.

Hermione threw a bag of crisps in her shopping bag and then continued to stroll down the aisle.

"Mm, onion flavoured", Harry observed after looking over her shoulder.

"Are you only here to comment on my taste in snacks?" Hermione asked with a small smile.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" Harry asked, maybe pouting slightly. He was still a little slow after the firewhisky.

"Of course I am, but I'm not naive enough to think that you don't have a motive for coming here", she said as she read on the back of a pack of sugar.

"I just wanted to chat, you suspicious woman", Harry said and leaned against a shelf as Hermione looked amused.

"What about, my dear Harry?" she asked and Harry shrugged.

"Some stuff that I didn't think Ron would be comfortable talking about", he said and Hermione seemed interested.

"What? How do you mean?" she asked and Harry couldn't help but break into a grin. "Harry!" she exclaimed. "You met a guy?"

"Yeah", Harry smiled and started lighting a cigarette.

"You can't smoke that in here", Hermione said and snatched the pack out of Harry's hands. "Now tell me about the guy!"

Harry smiled and leaned against the shelf again. "He's... wonderful."

Hermione gave a small chuckle. "Oh, good then. What's his name?"

"Severus Snape", Harry said and Hermione frowned.

"Where do I know that name from?" she asked and looked over at Harry who shrugged.

"Dunno. He used to teach at Hogwarts, maybe that's it?" Harry asked and Hermione drifted off like she always did when she was looking for an answer.

"Severus Snape, _Severus Snape_", she mumbled. "Oh, it's not the potions guy, is it?" she finally asked and turned to Harry in surprise.

"Yeah", Harry said and smiled. "How did you know that?"

"I've heard his name a few times. His work with snake skin in Wolfsbane is brilliant", she said, sounding excited. "Where did you meet him?"

Harry made a face. "Well, he knew my mum when they were, um, kids", he said and Hermione's face turned serious.

"How old is he? Does Lily know about... this?" she asked and her brown eyes drilled into Harry's own, her hands moving to pick some milk of a shelf.

"He's... I don't know how old he is, actually. Like mum probably. And no, mum doesn't know. And you can't tell her either!" Harry threatened and Hermione let out a sigh.

"You know I don't like keeping secrets."

"But you're very good at it", Harry retorted.

Hermione took her time with throwing some groceries in her shopping basket before her curiosity won over her. "Have you...?"

"Oh yeah", Harry answered with a grin. "Oh yeah."

"You know what, this might not be a suitable place for this conversation", she said as an old lady with a stroller passed them.

So Harry shut up and waited while Hermione finished shopping and then, when they were upstairs in Hermione's kitchen without any nosy old ladies around, they picked the conversation up again.

"So...?" Hermione asked and wiggled her eyebrows.

Harry smiled.

"Stop being so secretive! Tell me!" she said and laughed.

"He came over yesterday, when everyone was out, and then we", Harry smiled at the memory and at Hermione's excited expression, "we, you know, had sex."

She nodded seriously.

"Yeah, in the shower", Harry said and she let out a gasp.

"Really? How? No, I mean, how did you end up in the shower?"

"Well, we were kissing, in the living room, and then he said he wanted to stop-"

"Why?" Hermione said, her eyes wide.

"Well, he said 'it was wrong' or that 'we shouldn't do this' or something... Anyway, I said that I could show him the house and then I did and then when we were in the bathroom we picked it up again and it was just... Awesome. He gives the best..." Harry looked over at Hermione. "Did you wanna hear this?"

Hermione hesitated. "I think I get your point anyway."

"Yeah. And then we stayed in bed all day..."

Harry knew he sounded like a lovesick girl, but he didn't care. It had been awesome. Awesomely awesome.

"So... Can I tell Ron then?" she asked and Harry nodded.

"Sure. I mean, I don't think he'd appreciate details, but..."

"You should give Ron more credit. He would listen if you'd want to talk to him about that", she said and Harry looked down into his coffee.

"But he still won't enjoy talking about it", he said and Hermione tilted her head to the left.

"Maybe. I know he'd like it if you asked, though", she said with a serious look. "I think he feels a little left out."

"Why should he feel left out? I talk to him about the girls", Harry said and Hermione gave an exasperated sigh.

"That's what's weird, Harry", she said and leaned over the table. "Why should you have to divide it like that? Why can't you talk to me about girls and to Ron about guys?"

She looked at him like she really wanted an answer, but Harry didn't know, so he shrugged. "Dunno. I just... You don't fancy girls and Ron..."

"What does that matter? If you dated an attorney, wouldn't you talk to me about him or her just because I don't like to date attorneys? Or blondes, if you dated a blonde, would you not talk to Ron about it just because he prefers brunettes?"

"That is not the same, Mione", Harry spit out, the humour all gone now. The thought of blondes didn't make Ron go pale and start blubbering nervously.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..." she began and Harry waved her excuses off with a, "No it's fine."

That was the thing with Hermione, she always meant so well. She always had these ideas that she had to force on other people, but she always meant well, so you couldn't be pissed at her afterwards.

"Anyway, bye", Harry said and slid off his chair. "See you."

/

"But mum..." Harry groaned.

"No! You're under house arrest and that means that you can't leave to be with friends and you certainly can't go over to Ron's!" she said, raising her voice.

"Would you stop being such a bore! It was just going to be Ron and me! We were just going to hang out!" Harry said angrily, and his mum shook her head.

"You know the rules, Harry", she said and Harry gave a loud groan.

"Lily, come on. If we know where he's going I don't see how-" Harry's dad began and his mum turned her frown to him instead.

"Not you too", she said, her voice filled with that special mix of anger and disappointment that only mothers could muster up.

"Mum, I get it, I've learned my lesson! I'm not going to run off again. Why can't I just visit at Ron's for a while?" Harry asked, walking past his mum, just walking away from the yelling.

"Yes, Lily, he's right. We have to let him be a teenager-" his dad said, resting his hands on his mum's shoulders.

"Stop that, James. He has to know there are consequences when he does things like this."

"Don't talk like I'm not here. And I know there are consequences, okay", Harry said and they both looked at him like they'd just realised he was still there.

Harry shook his head. "You know what, I'm leaving. I don't have to stay here. I don't live here anymore."

"Harry, don't be ridiculous, you're-"

"No, I'll just find somewhere else to sleep tonight, okay", Harry said and they both looked at him with shocked expressions.

And he slammed the door behind him. Maybe his reaction was a little exaggerated, but he really needed to get out of there, he thought as he wondered where to Apparate. But he didn't really have to think about it. He knew where Snape lived, his mum had told him, so without thinking twice about it, he Apparated there.

Snape lived on a small street adjacent to Diagon Alley. It wasn't the wealthiest part of the neighbourhood, but it was far from poor. It was grey and dull looking, and maybe more gloomy than it had to be.

Harry pulled his hands from his pockets and looked down at himself. He was wearing a half-decent T-shirt, some jeans and his favourite Converse. Yeah, that would have to do.

He strolled down the street, trying to not be too excited. He really shouldn't be excited. He'd told himself before, but he wasn't a lovesick girl. And he'd just had a fight with his parents so he really shouldn't be excited.

He found Snape's flat after some trouble. The house was in the furthest corner of the street, and the flat was practically hidden off in a storey that Harry hadn't even realised was there until he'd accidentally stumbled over the staircase to it. Severus Snape was a very private man.

Harry smiled at the closed door and leaned against the wall before he knocked. His smile wavered when Snape didn't answer and he had to knock again.

When Snape finally opened he looked like Harry wasn't really expected or welcome. Actually, his expression gave Harry the impression that he was maybe interrupting slightly.

"Hey", Harry said, and stubbornly kept smiling. _He was not nervous. _

"Hello", Snape said, and after the revelation that the disturber was Harry he just looked surprised.

"Can I come in?" Harry asked, and tried to look hungry for company without looking completely slutty.

"What? Where?" Snape asked and Harry couldn't help but laugh.

"Um, in to your apartment? In there?" Harry said and Snape looked behind him like he hadn't been aware that there was a room there.

"Oh. Of course", he said and Harry smiled and walked past him into the hallway. "I'm a little busy right now, I just have to go get something under control... Have a seat or something to drink."

Harry smiled at the polite request as Snape hurried down the hall to a room from which a loud fizzing noise was escaping.

"Um, is everything all right?" Harry asked, as he wandered around the flat. It wasn't big, and there weren't too many personal things there, but Harry liked it. It was airy and had lots of windows outlooking the darkening sky outside. The living room was big and connected to the kitchen, and Harry took a seat in the couch.

"Yes, everything's all right", Snape answered after a while, and when he walked into the room he looked tired.

"I'm not interrupting, am I? Were you working?" Harry asked and Snape smiled.

"I was having some trouble with a potion, but it's fine now", he said, sitting down next to Harry. "It's simmering."

And then he kissed Harry, quickly, like he'd been resisting but just couldn't stop himself anymore. Harry smiled against his lips and he pulled away.

"How are you doing?" he asked, slightly awkwardly when he did it after ravishing Harry's mouth.

"I'm good", Harry mumbled and kissed him back. "You?"

Snape didn't answer, instead he just pressed his lips against Harry's.

They had sex face to face this time and Harry loved this too. There were so many surprises with Severus Snape. This time it was slow and languid, not at all like the first time, but it was still so wonderful.

And afterwards Harry rested his head against Snape's chest and fell asleep with his warm body next to him, his brain feeling like just a pleasant warm mush, all the fighting forgotten.

/

Harry smiled down at the other sleeping man. He sure did sleep deeply. After just nudging him without a result Harry had tried shoving the curtains aside, but Snape had just frowned and rolled around to shade his face. And he'd tried to kiss him awake (didn't work, Snape had just pulled the covers up over his head), he'd almost tried pouring water in his face.

Nothing worked, but Harry suspected this would. He held the plate out and waved his hand in front of it to spread the smell and Snape stirred. Then came the mumbled, "Did you make breakfast?"

Harry smiled and Snape came up from under the covers.

"Good morning to you too. Yeah, I made scrambled eggs. You didn't have much else", Harry continued.

Snape smiled and looked down at the eggs.

"I wanted to say thank you for letting me stay here", he continued and held the plate and the fork out. "So eat, there's plenty."

"You don't have to say thank you", he said, but still started hungrily on the eggs.

Harry threw himself down next to him and looked at him as he ate. "No really, I needed a place to sleep. I, um, I had kind of a fight with mum and dad. Well, more with mum."

Snape didn't comment on the fighting part and Harry was grateful. He'd just wanted Snape to be aware of why he'd stayed the night. It would be like him to wonder whether his parents would miss him.

"You know, you really sleep quite deep", Harry commented and Snape laughed.

"So I've been told", he said and swallowed a gulp of the coffee Harry had left on the nightstand.

"Yeah, I tried to wake you up in all sorts of different ways", Harry said and Snape smirked.

"Maybe I was waiting for you to try a more interesting method?" Snape asked and kissed him and he tasted bitterly of coffee.

Harry laughed and Snape leaned back against the headboard with a satisfied moan.

"That was good", he said. "Thank you."

And then they talked for a while... And then they stopped talking. And after that Snape told him that he had to work, but that Harry was welcome to stay. He sounded sincere, so Harry did. He'd have to come crawling back to his parents in the evening, because otherwise they would get worried, but he could stay for now.

They had dinner together in the afternoon when Snape was done with his potion making. They bought Chinese and ate in the sofa in the dark living room, laughing and talking. Harry loved this, absolutely loved it! He'd always had a tendency to choose bad guys (and girls, for that matter) and he'd thought Snape would have been one of those, just a one night stand, but he wasn't! He was... He was fricking perfect, Harry thought as the older man talked about the potion he was brewing now, gesturing lively with those thin hands.

"Hey, how come you think this", Harry paused to gesture between them, "is all right now? You were all like 'this is wrong' before?"

"Well, I figure the damage has been done already", he said, smirking at Harry's bad impression of his voice.

"I guess you could see it like that", Harry said and Harry laughed, leaning forward to press a kiss to Snape's cheek, catching a glimpse of the clock in the kitchen as he did. "Oh, is that the time?"

Snape turned his head to the watch that read eight in the evening and then looked back at Harry. "Do you have to leave?"

"Mhm", Harry mumbled and started thinking about if he'd left any of his stuff lying around. Maybe it was good if he'd left something? Then he had an excuse to come back... Did he need an excuse?

"So... I'll leave now, but... I'll come back sometime, okay?" Harry asked and Snape nodded.

"I'm looking forward to it."

**A/N: **So yeah. I kinda like writing this Harry, he's so different from how I usually write him. And it's terribly fun to write a Harry that doesn't really get all the muggle customs and stuff. I figure that parts of his personality is the same as in canon, when he was raised by the Dursleys, but other parts are completely different. He's more confident, maybe more reckless as well. I don't know which version I like best though ^^ Review, please, and make my day!


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Why hello there. New chapter up quick this time, because I'm hoping to post it all before Monday when I have to turn in my computer to my school. I have a hunch that my teachers wouldn't enjoy reading this… (Hey, I might be wrong.) Anyways, thank you all for the awesome reviews, and the favourites and alerts! All of your comments, even (or especially) the unsigned ones are a great encouragement. :)

Chapter 9

The Dinner Of Doom

_Severus_

Severus looked over at the sleeping boy next to him and smiled to himself.

Severus had been pleasantly surprised when he'd come to visit again. He suspected he'd looked like quite an idiot when he opened the door, but it was just so unexpected.

He'd been looking for a place to stay, but it wasn't like he used Severus. No, Severus didn't feel used at all. Severus felt liked, and that was rare, he had to admit. When he kissed him goodbye he actually meant that he was looking forward to the next time they'd see each other.

They did meet again. They went out to eat (something other than chinese food from the crappy place around the corner this time), they saw a movie, but mostly they stayed in Severus' flat. They talked and laughed and he was all Severus cared about. He loved his laugh and his smile and the way his skin felt under his lips and the way his hair fell in his eyes when his head had drooped down against his chest in sleep. He found himself wanting to make him laugh, telling stories to see his eyes light up before he let out something that sounded a lot like a giggle.

And then when they didn't meet he worked. That hadn't changed, he still got incredibly absorbed in his work. But lately it had started to be intentional, because he'd realised that the time spent away from Harry Potter really wasn't time spent well.

This time he had appeared as usual, in the afternoon, and they had slept together. That was what usually happened. And after that he had fallen asleep, like he was exhausted, and Severus had let him. He liked it when he stayed the night, he liked to wake up next to him.

"Are you watching me sleep?" Harry asked, opening his eyes sleepily, and Severus stroked his cheek.

"Maybe", he said and the younger man smirked.

"Well, creepy", he said, shutting his eyes again, and Severus laughed. "No, wait, before I forget, mum wanted me to invite you to dinner tomorrow."

Severus could almost feel himself paling. "Did you tell her you were coming here?"

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" he said and sat up, probably realising that he wasn't going to get any sleep. "I told her I was having you make me a potion, not that I was coming here to... Shag you", he ended and gave Severus a suggestive look.

"Do you think she bought that?" Severus asked and he shrugged.

"Think so. It's believable enough, potions wasn't my strongest subject", he said and reached over to his pants that were lying on the floor, the movement making the covers slip off him, and making Severus' mind cloud over for a second.

"Won't she wonder why you're staying the night?" he asked, when Harry had come with a triumphant grip on his cigarettes.

"You're sweet when you worry", he said with a small smile, before lighting a cigarette and tossing the packet aside. "But you know what's sweeter? When you suck my-"

"Don't distract me", he said, because that was exactly what Potter was trying to do.

He sighed and took a quick drag on his cigarette. "There's this girl, Padma. I, um, we fuck sometimes. She's cool. Cold and emotionless but a real good..."

He must have seen the look on Severus' face, because he cut himself off sharply.

"Anyway, I told them I was with her. She'll back that up if they call. But I don't see why they would. So stop worrying, okay?" he said and kissed him again, tasting like smoke.

He didn't know what to think, any less say. So he slept with other people. He'd known that. He'd also known he was possessive, so he didn't know why this reaction was so surprising to him. Maybe because he was only possessive of what was his, and he hadn't known he counted Harry as something that was his.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked and tilted his head. "I'm sorry..."

Severus didn't answer, and Harry kept looking at him and smirking.

"Because I had sex with Padma?" he asked and Severus shook his head. No, that wasn't it.

"Why don't you just stick to... her, to women?" he asked and Harry stopped with the hot sulking.

"What?" he asked and let out another smoke puff. "Why would I do that?"

"You could be, I don't know, normal. And yet you-" He didn't know how to end that sentence. And yet you sleep with me?

"I don't kid myself. I'm Harry Potter. I'm never going to be 'normal' and I wouldn't want to be either", he said and sat up straighter. "I'll sleep with whomever I want. That choice hasn't always been available for people and I'm lucky it is now."

"But it is like that now too", he said and Potter looked angry.

"Maybe. Maybe some people will throw insults at me and call me", he stopped, obviously not wanting to repeat some of the words he'd been called, "and call me stuff, but those people's opinions really aren't important."

He was right. He was. People like that were idiots, but they did exist. And just because they were idiots it didn't mean that you couldn't hear their words.

"Listen, it's in the middle of the night and it's either too early or too late for me to be pissed at you, so why don't we do something else, eh?" he said, and Severus nodded in agreement.

"Very wise of you", he said and let Harry kiss down his chest. He guided his hands to his arousal, that seemed to flare up at even the slightest mention of sex from those lips.

Severus groaned quietly, as his fingers circled the head of his erection, and earned a smile from Harry. "Mm, faster", he moaned and bit his lip.

"Can I top this time?" he asked innocently enough, nipping at the skin on his neck.

"No", he moaned and opened his eyes to a smiling face.

"Oh, come on. Why not?" he said, his hand still doing marvellous things.

"I just don't want to", he said in a not too final tone. Who was he kidding, he would do anything he asked.

"Please?" he asked, licking up his throat to the soft spot behind his ear. His hand stopped though and Severus groaned in annoyance.

"You are very good at persuasion, aren't you?" he said, and he could feel him chuckling against his skin.

"I am", he said and his hand stroked his thigh. "So can I?"

"Do _something_ at least", he said and Harry reached for the lube in his top drawer. He knew where it was, they had used a lot of it already.

His fingers moved from his thigh and he kissed Severus reassuringly. "So I'm your first time?"

He laughed. "I've had sex before, you know that", he said and tried to keep from pushing back against his fingers when one slipped inside him easily.

"Yeah, but not good sex, right?" he asked. "Not with me."

Severus didn't answer that, instead he groaned and closed his eyes as a second finger followed the first.

"Do you promise to tell me if I'm hurting you?" he asked and Severus nodded. "So, am I hurting you?"

"No, not exactly", he said and the fingers in him moved slowly, stretching him.

"How does it feel?" Potter asked and he let out a small snort of amusement.

"Stop fussing and fuck me", he said and Harry laughed, removing his fingers. It felt strange now, like he was missing something. The men he'd had sex with, the ones who had insisted that he took the submissive role, hadn't bothered to prepare him beforehand. They had been rough, but then he had been in a place when he thought that rough was all he deserved. And wanted, really.

Harry pushed into him slowly, biting his lip in an adorable way and Severus felt himself stiffen slightly at the intrusion. Harry let out a groan and then met Severus' eyes, waited until Severus gave a little nod and then pulled out and pushed in again.

"Fuck", he groaned and Severus just bit back a moan.

When he pushed back in, his hand wrapped around Severus' erection and he slowly moved his fingers up and down. In combination with the hard thrusts Severus didn't last long. He came before Potter did, but he followed not soon after with a loud, excited sound.

"Good?" he breathed, a slow grin spreading on his face, and Severus nodded.

"God", he murmured, letting his head fall back against the headboard, and Harry laughed.

"No, but thanks anyway", he said and pulled out slowly. Before he lay back next to him, he pressed a sloppy kiss to his lips and Severus smiled at him.

"I'm exhausted", Harry said and stretched out the bed. "Did I tell you I started work today?"

"No, you didn't", Severus said and slid down under the covers.

"Well, I did. They gave me some extra leave because I blew up my house, but now they've made me come back again. Anyway, it was hell. And now we're weeks behind on everything", he said, ending with a big yawn. "I'd better be on my way. Mum's expecting us home for dinner, remember?"

Severus sighed. "Tell her I can't come."

"No, I won't", Harry said as he got up from the bed, looking back at him with a tiny smile.

"Why? Just say I'm busy", he said and watched as the other man pulled his jeans on.

"No, because you're not busy", he said and his head poked up from his T-shirt. "Why don't you want to come?"

Severus was quiet and waited for Harry to turn to him. "I can't lie to her", he said and Harry's smile faded. "Not to her face."

"We could just tell them. I mean, what could they do?"

Except for kill Severus? Except for kick Harry out of their home and disown him?

"I just don't want to sit there and pretend like nothing", he settled with and Harry leaned over the bed to kiss him.

"I'll tell them you'll come at seven. If you really don't want to go call and say you're sick or something", he paused in the doorway. "Or better, say that you messed up a potion and got acid goo all over you, that would be a hell of an excuse."

And then he was gone out the bed room door, leaving Severus to listen to his heavy steps through the apartment before hearing the door slam shut.

/

Severus took a deep breath before he Apparated. He appeared at the end of the Potter family's street, the shady part that was overhung by trees. He began the walk to their house in a tense silence. He could feel that this was a bad idea, he could feel it in his gut, but when Potter had asked him he couldn't resist. He was just _irresistible_.

He had reached their front door now, and knocked on the door quickly, before he could lose his resolve and Disapparate away. But maybe that would have been good, if he would have just turned around to leave.

"Sev", Lily said with a big smile, as she opened the door. "You're just in time."

She stepped aside to let him enter and he did, hesitantly. There was still that cold, bad feeling at the pit of his stomach.

"The food's just ready", she said as she walked ahead into the house. "Harry, Alice, dinner's ready!" she shouted up the stairs as they passed it.

"Oh, hello. So you made it?" Harry asked pleasantly from the top of the stairs and Severus almost applauded the ease at which he lied.

He just gave a nod and then Lily was looking between them. "Well, make the guest welcome then, Harry!" she said with a sharp look at Harry, like he was being rude.

"Yeah", Harry mumbled and then there was a loud crash heard from the kitchen and they all snapped their heads in that direction.

"Oh no", Lily mumbled, and was off to the kitchen. "Harry, offer him a drink!"

Harry waited until they heard the door slam shut and then he jumped down the stairs hurriedly.

"This was a bad idea", Harry said and Severus nodded.

"I told you! It feels-"

"-bad, yeah. Like they're gonna find out. I've been feeling bad all afternoon. It's like my stomach is turning inside out", he whispered, throwing a glance at the door.

"We'll just stay away then. No whispering and no glances, nothing", he said and Harry bit his lip as he nodded.

"Yeah. Just..." He kissed him once, quickly and then he said in a louder voice, "Well, Mr Snape, let's get you that drink then?"

The dinner was tense, but only Harry and Severus seemed to notice it. James wasn't there, thank god, so it was just the four of them. Lily's daughter, Alice, seemed shy at first, but then she was asking all sorts of questions. Just like her brother, Severus thought as he tried to keep up with the fast blabber.

"Are you married?" she asked and Severus let out a small cough.

Lily had given up on berating her daughter a while ago, so now she just settled with shooting her a warning look.

"No, I'm not married", Severus said and he could see Harry smile in the corner of his eye.

"Why not?" she asked, frowning.

"Not everyone wants to get married, Alice", Lily said, but Alice kept looking up at him questioningly.

"I just haven't found anyone to marry", he said and took a sip from his drink. That was the truth. But he couldn't say that he had been looking very hard either.

"Do you have a girlfriend then?" she asked and Severus risked a fast glance at Harry.

"Alice! That's Severus' business", Lily said and gave Severus a look that said, 'I'm so sorry, she's not usually like this'.

"But-"

"Alice, stop it. Now, I'm going to go put away the dishes and I don't want you to bother Severus anymore, all right?" she said and Alice pouted.

"Fine", she grumbled out and after a hard look her mum waved her wand and the plates rose from the table and followed after her in to the kitchen.

She looked at the door for a second and then she turned back eagerly. "So do you or not?"

"Alice, what did mum _just _say?" Harry asked and hit his sister softly in the back of her head.

"Shut up, Harry!" she said and stuck her tongue out at him.

Their banter almost made Severus wish he'd had siblings. But he doubted that his crappy childhood would have been better with a brother or sister, and he honestly would never wish his parents on anyone.

"You don't have to answer her", Harry said and smiled at him as his sister was scrunching her face up to the point where it looked painful. "And that's not going to work, Alice, you can't blow me up or give me a rash or whatever you're trying to do."

"I was trying to colour you purple, thank you very much" she said and then Lily poked her head out the door.

"What are you talking about?" she asked as she tapped her wand against Severus' glass which filled up with water, before she sat down.

"Alice is trying to change my colour again", Harry said and Alice looked down at the table.

"Just a little bit", she mumbled as her mum looked at her scoldingly.

The tension eased up over the evening and Severus found himself staying longer than he should have. He felt silly for thinking something awful was going to happen. He was actually having fun, actually feeling like he fit in. Even though the fact that he was keeping secrets from Lily was nagging at him, but he couldn't very well tell them. All in all it was a nice night, which was unexpected. It was a welcome surprise that James wasn't there, he bet that the dinner wouldn't have been nearly as pleasant with him present.

He was away in business, Lily had said. Severus suspected that he was just staying away because he was visiting and he asked Harry about that when they were washing up. Alice had actually managed to blow something up in the living room, while trying to turn her brother purple and Alice and Lily were both there trying to clean up dirt from a (former) potted plant. He could hear Lily's sharp cries now and again and some apologetic mumbling.

"Where's your father?" he asked and Harry looked up from the dishes. They had shared the work so that Severus cleaned and Harry dried and put away.

"Say dad like a normal person", he said with a small smile.

"Where's your dad, then?"

Harry looked out over the front lawn through the window as he answered. "Mum tried to not say who was coming over, but he had to ask sometime... I think he went over to Remus and Tonks'."

Severus nodded and Harry looked back at him again.

"He really doesn't like you", he continued with a small laugh.

Severus waved his wand and then leaned back to watch a plate rinse itself and then float over to Harry who in turn dried it off with a quick spell and then levitated it into the cupboard.

"You're very skilled", he said, because he couldn't help it.

"What, at doing the dishes?" Harry asked with a small smile, leaning against the counter.

"No. Your magic, it's... beautiful", he said and earned a smirk.

It was. The soft precision of it, how it seemed to take no effort at all. Severus didn't doubt at all that this boy had been able to defeat the Dark Lord. He was an amazing wizard.

"Wow, flattering, mister", he said and took two sultry steps towards him.

"I thought we weren't supposed to-" he started but when Harry put his lips against his cheek softly, it died away. Oh, if only he had finished that sentence.

Harry smiled and then leaned against the counter. "A quick kiss", he said and looked over to the door to the living room, from which they could still hear the busy sounds of cleaning up. "They won't notice."

Severus pulled him in for a kiss quickly, but he was _so _intoxicating. It didn't end at a quick kiss. Not at all. Severus found himself leaning in closer, loving the feel of their mouths meeting, mixing the two of them together. They stayed clasped together for way too long, and Severus couldn't help put his hands lightly on his hips and letting them feel at the warm skin under the T-shirt.

But then Harry gasped against him and it wasn't a good gasp. Severus pulled away and followed his gaze out the window where Potter, the elder, was standing in the middle of the gravelled pathway, staring at them.

**/**

**A/N: **Smirk. You're hanging so far off that cliff right now that you're just closing your eyes and hoping you'll land on something soft, aren't you?

I've never really liked Snape as a bottom, but in this chapter it worked. They've talked about it, and I think in this situation it had to happen, just to show how much Snape trusts him and how much they, yeah, give of each other. Anyways, what did you think?


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **Hey! So, the new chapter is here :) Exciting (?) fact: this fic is the first time I've written yelling in capital letters. Thought it fitted, even though I usually just write cursive. But James is supposed to be really roaring and JKR does it so… So yes, those are things I think about.

Chapter 10

In Which Everything Falls Apart

_Harry_

Harry stared out the window in just pure shock. He wasn't supposed to be there. He was supposed to be staying away and not standing outside the window and he definitely wasn't supposed to be marching up to the house angrily.

"Shit!" Harry shouted and managed to tear his eyes away from the view of the empty front of the house.

Snape just looked shocked. He had jumped away from Harry and was staring at the door, listening for the first signs of trouble, and yes, trouble was approaching fast.

"You have to get out of here", Harry said, slightly panicked. "He's going to fucking kill you. Apparate, for fuck's sake, Apparate!"

But it was too late, his dad was already through the door, his mum and Alice following after him, they too starting to realise that something was wrong.

"James?" his mum had the mind to start to say, but she was interrupted by his dad's roar.

"YOU FUCKING PERVERT!"

"James!" his mother shouted and looked over at Alice, who was hesitating in the door. Risk getting yelled at or run off to her room and miss all the fun? She decided to disappear out the door, but Harry didn't doubt that she would stay close and listen in.

"Lily, he was- he was", his dad spluttered angrily and whipped his wand out. "He was forcing himself on him!"

"What?" Lily asked loudly, while Harry was just trying to get his hyperventilating under control. "What are you on about?"

"No one was forcing themselves on anyone!" Harry shouted in panic and reached his hands out to try to calm his father down.

"Please tell me what's going on!" his mum said and they all looked at her.

"They were kissing! I saw them through the- through the-!" he started and waved his wand threateningly.

"What?" his mum asked incredulously. "Severus?"

Snape shifted. "I'm sorry", he tried, like he thought that was the right thing to say, but wasn't sure. It wasn't the right thing to say, Harry thought and managed to calm down his breathing. They hadn't done anything wrong, they weren't supposed to say they were sorry! It was his dad that had decided to make a big deal out of it!

"Dad, would you point your wand somewhere else?" he said, and his dad looked over at him.

"Harry, for Merlin's sake... How could you do something like this? With him?" he shouted angrily and Harry went on the defensive again.

"Why not? I can take care of myself! And what is so fucking wrong with him!" Harry shouted back and tried very hard to keep from taking a few threatening steps forward.

"'What's wrong with him'? '_What's wrong with him'?_ Are you crazy, Harry?" he roared, but seemed to realise that he wasn't going to curse anyone soon.

"Hey, everyone stop with the cursing!" his mum said sharply and looked at all of them sternly. "Now, I think Severus ought to be heading home now and-"

"No! Fuck no! He will stay and get what's coming to him! He was-!"

"Dad! _He _wasn't doing anything! _We _were kissing, and you're making too big a deal of it!" he said while his dad just looked like he was going to have a seizure.

"Please, James, calm down", his mum said and placed a hand on her husbands arm, succeeding to make him lower his wand.

"Harry, how could you?" his dad said, seriously now, and Harry let his face get emotionless.

"I'm sorry you're disappointed, but I really don't give a shit", Harry said harshly. He hadn't meant that.

"He's a bloody Death Eater!" his dad said and Harry snorted.

"Dad, just because you don't like this doesn't mean you can just make stuff up", Harry said and his dad's expression changed.

"He hasn't told you?" he asked and looked over at Snape, who was looking back with a hard expression.

"Told me what?" Harry asked and hesitated slightly. Was it possible that he wasn't lying?

"You haven't told him?" he asked Snape and took a step forward. "Show him", he demanded and Harry fought the urge to jump between them. Snape could take care of himself.

"James", his mother bit out warningly, but his dad didn't stop. He grabbed the sleeve of Snape's shirt and pulled it up.

"Dad, I've seen his arm, I would know if-"

Harry was interrupted by his dad's revealing spell. And he watched as the Dark Mark slowly became visible on Snape's pale underarm.

"Harry", Snape said hesitantly as he pulled his arm away. "Harry?"

Harry looked over at his mum, who was watching his expression carefully. She must have known. And yet she'd let him into their house.

And yet Harry'd had sex with him. Harry had kissed him and... God, he had been in love with him. He was in love with him now too, when he stood there, pulling his sleeve down awkwardly over his Dark Mark. The sign that he had once obeyed Voldemort.

"Harry, do you see what he is now? Do you-" his dad began.

Harry interrupted him by shaking his head and took a step back as his mum tried to reach out for him.

He couldn't stay there, in that stuffy little kitchen, along with the three people he really didn't want to see right then. So he ran. He ran out the door and then he Apparated, and if someone shouted after him or tried to follow, he didn't notice it.

He appeared in London, in the street outside the Leaky Cauldron. He leaned against the wall of the scruffy building and breathed loudly.

That's what he did the following days. He ran from everything, just hid. He stayed at friends' houses, friends he knew but no one in his family could reach. He needed to think.

He felt like an idiot. People had known, his parents had known, but not him. Hermione had known who he was, she might have known too. So just why hadn't Harry known? He worked with Death Eaters, he caught them, saw to it that they got a trial and a punishment. Why hadn't he come across Severus Snape?

When Harry thought about some of the things those people had done he felt disgusted, dirty. Torture, rape, murder. What if Snape had done things like that? It made Harry want to... He didn't know what he wanted to. Hurt people maybe. Hurt Snape, hurt himself, hurt his parents. Just hurt, because he was hurting.

It wasn't like he had expected that thing they had, whatever it was, to last forever, but it was still a shitty feeling. He had sort of loved him, even though he had told himself it was just sex and an occasional dinner now and then.

He stayed away for about a week and a half and then came the day when none of his friends wanted to let him stay any longer and he found himself back home again.

Alice was home alone, and she rushed to the door as soon as she heard the rustle of the key. Harry looked at her tiredly and she gave him a silent hug. He loved her a lot right then.

"Mum and dad have been so worried. They didn't know where you were", she said and didn't let go of her tight grip around his waist.

"That was the point, Alice."

"They flooed all your friends. They didn't know where you were either. _I_ didn't know where you were", she said quietly and Harry put a hand on her hair.

"Sorry", he mumbled and she finally let go and instead looked up at him sternly.

"You should be", she said and Harry couldn't help but laugh.

Harry took a step past her into the house, and she followed suit.

"I'm just going to get my stuff and then I'll sleep in my flat", he said as they both scurried up the stairs, trying to reach the attic.

"They went a little crazy after you left", she said as she climbed behind him up the attic stairway. "Dad kicked that Snape guy out, but mum wanted him to stay, but in the end he left anyway."

Harry cringed at his name, and he wondered if she was sharp enough to catch it.

"You did like him, didn't you?" she asked. Of course she was sharp enough.

"Yeah", Harry said, because he saw no point in lying. "But I was wrong about him."

"Why?" she asked and Harry stopped throwing his stuff into a bag and looked over at her.

"He was... bad", he said and she frowned.

"I thought you liked bad?" she asked and Harry snorted.

"That is really inappropriate for you to know."

"Answer the question, Rabbit", she said and Harry sighed.

"Yeah. I like bad. But not... He was a Death Eater", Harry settled with. "I like people who are bad on the outside. You have to try a little harder to get to know them, and it's usually worth your while."

"So you only like people because of their outside?"

"You know that wasn't what I said. I mean, there's two sorts of bad. There's bad as in ooh, he drives a motorbike and wears clothes with rivets on them and he's slightly misunderstood, and then there's the sort of bad that's... evil", Harry said and then, when she didn't answer, he went back to packing.

"Aren't you gonna stay and talk to mum and dad?" she asked and Harry determinedly glared down at his socks casually thrown into the bag.

"I guess I am", he said shortly. That was not going to be fun, but he couldn't leave Alice to explain this.

"They talked after you left. He doesn't seem _evil. _He just seems... Dunno", she said and leaned against Harry's bed.

"Look, Alice, I need to lie down for a while", Harry said and she put on a sceptical face.

"You're not that old", she said and crossed her arms.

Harry shrugged and then fell on the bed, not caring if she left or not. "Just tell mum and dad I'm up here when they come home."

After a few seconds she left and Harry slowly drifted off to sleep, even though he had just intended to lie and think for a while.

He woke up hours later to the sound of quiet mumbling. His mum was stroking his hair and she sounded angry.

"This is your fault you know", she hissed and Harry was just about to sit up and argue when his dad answered and he understood that she wasn't talking to him.

"I only told him the truth, it was that arse who lied to him", he said, his voice somewhere at the end of Harry's bed.

"He is nothing of the sort and you know that. I admit, he might not have been the one I had in mind for my son, but it's still Harry's decision and his alone. And you saying those things have nothing to do with telling the truth, it has to do with all that animosity between you two. Which I don't understand, by the way", his mum rabbled quickly, like she usually did when she was very, very angry.

"Lily, just listen to me!" his dad said loudly and Harry understood that after that outburst it was impossible for him to fake sleep anymore.

He shrugged his mum's hand off and sat up, and they both looked at him quietly.

"So. You gonna yell at me or...?" he asked after a few seconds of silence.

His mum hugged him tightly. "Where the hell have you been?" she asked and Harry shook his head.

"I stayed at some friends'", Harry said and then got the expected answer.

"What friends?" she asked and pulled away to bore her eyes into Harry's.

"Just friends. You don't know them", Harry said and she seemed to realise that they weren't going to get another answer. "I know I should have told you where I was. Sorry", he continued quietly, but meeting their eyes. He wasn't ashamed of this, but he knew it would be worse if he didn't apologise.

"You didn't sleep at his house then?" his dad asked and Harry shook his head.

"No", he gritted out and his dad uncrossed his arms when he heard how hard his voice was.

"Harry..." his mum started and Harry could just picture all the compassionate things she was going to say.

"I don't wanna talk about it", he said and his parents looked at each other.

"You need to talk about it", she said. "You need to talk to Severus, as well."

"Why should I talk to him?" Harry asked. "He lied to me. He's a fucking-"

"No swearing", his mum interrupted. "And maybe so, but I still think that you should give him a chance to explain himself."

"Yeah, well, what you think doesn't come into the equation", Harry shot back at her and she closed her mouth.

"All right then", she said shortly and looked at her husband.

Harry's dad had a strange expression on his face, a mix of glee and sadness. He seemed more pleased than sorry though, and Harry looked away from him. Yeah, of course he would be happy, his enemy exposed as a liar and a Death Eater. Real fun.

"Just let me sleep for a while. I'll get out of here tomorrow. My flat's almost fixed and I can sleep there", he said and his mum hesitated before nodding.

"All right", his dad said, and then they were gone out the door again.

/

Summer turned into a grey and cold autumn and Harry lived on, if you could call it that. It was boring and tedious.

The days and weeks and months were unusually usual. Harry slept, went to work, ate and slept. He just tried to get it out of his head with routines. People around him seemed worried, but Harry didn't see why they had to be. Harry was fine.

His friends reacted pretty much like his parents had. They were angry at him for disappearing and happy that he'd come back. They understood that he just wanted to put it past him and they were kind enough to pretend like nothing had happened.

One day a letter arrived from Severus Snape, but Harry ignored it. It just said Harry's name on the outside, but Harry knew it was from him anyway. It was delivered by his owl and the writing was spindly and elegant like his. He let it lie on his kitchen counter for days before before he torched it with an 'Incendio'.

He didn't try to contact Harry again.

He visited his family now and again and on Christmas he stayed over at their house. He avoided the upstairs bathroom, because it reminded him so much of him. All those memories of his childhood were now overshadowed by that memory that had been so good and then so dirty.

It was awful, seeing little details hidden everywhere, ready to jump out and make him freeze and remember that different time where his life had been pleasantly free from greyness and just filled with guiltless fun and pleasure.

His mum seemed like she wanted to talk serious with him, and one night she did, the night before Christmas Eve. Harry had sat up late, trying to finish a report, and she snuck up behind him, with a silent, "Hey there."

"Merlin, mum. You scared me", Harry said as his mum looked over his shoulder at what he was writing on and then turned to the counter.

"I couldn't sleep", she said with a small smile. "Do you remember when you were little, when you'd had a bad dream? I used to make you warm milk."

"I remember", Harry mumbled, dreading what this conversation would turn into.

Surprisingly it didn't turn into anything. His mum just warmed milk for the two of them and when she brushed past him, putting the cup down, she simply said, "He's not a bad man. He's just made some bad choices", and then she was gone up the stairs again. Harry stared at the milk for a good long while until he couldn't take it anymore and swallowed everything in one gulp.

/

"Dad, I don't want to", Harry said and ran a hand through his hair tiredly.

"Oh, come on Harry", he urged and held the door to the cellar open, with that annoying fucking grin on his face.

"Fine. Fucking fine", Harry grumbled and pushed past him down the stairs, hitting the light switch hard as he passed it.

Harry sat down on the chair in the far corner, the one by the table, next to the trophy cabinet. He held the broom in his hand, the one his dad had gotten him for Christmas, and weighed it carefully. It was the new Nimbus, he'd seen them in the shop windows in Diagon Alley. He hadn't asked for it, and it felt unnecessary that his dad had forced him down in the cellar to prep it for use like this.

"All right, remember this?" his dad asked and started taking out the supplies. Polishing stuff, a rag, some potions that you rubbed on different places on it to make it hold better and fly faster.

"I remember", Harry mumbled and dipped his rag in some yellow goo. He let it drip a little on the middle of his broom and then started to rub at it.

"Great", his dad said and Harry knew his grin hadn't diminished, even though he didn't look up. He started preparing the leather on a Quaffle, while looking at the trophies on the shelves. About half of them were Harry's and half were his dad's.

"Hand me the..." Harry said and pointed to the other container. His dad handed him the bottle and Harry took a slab of it into his hand and kneaded it into the bristles at the end.

"Do you remember that one?" he asked with a small laugh, while pointing at one of the trophies, a tall, golden one.

"Yeah, dad", Harry said sharply and his hand tightened around the broom handle. He still hadn't forgiven his dad for breaking the news that roughly, and every little annoying thing he did reminded him of it.

"You really brought those Chasers down! And the look on their Seeker's face!" his dad said, trying to be cheery.

"I know, dad", Harry said and looked up. "I was there. I did that. Not you. I'm sure it may seem like something you did, but it's not. I'm not an extension of you", Harry growled and his fist was clenched hard around the cloth of the rag.

"Harry..." his dad said, beginning on warning.

"It's always like this", Harry said sharply. "You always act like we're the same person. Unless I'm off fucking your old pals, then-"

"Harry, you can't talk to me like that", he said and Harry growled angrily.

"No!" he shouted, and if he was more of a girl, he knew he would have been sobbing by now. He had kept that bottled up for so long. "I bloody hate it when you do that!"

Harry'd stood up and was now towering over the trophy cabinet. He raised his wand and the glass crackled and then disappeared. Harry picked one up and then smashed it against the wall, making his dad flinch back. It just bounced off the wall and was hardly dented.

"Take it easy", his dad shouted, and reached out for Harry. Harry tried to shrug him off, but didn't succeed.

His arms came up around him and held him tight to his chest until he'd stopped struggling.

"Hey, hey...", he said gently and Harry leaned into the hug. "Harry..."

Harry relaxed and his dad moved his arms to a more comfortable position.

"Aw, kid", he said and Harry broke away from him, but not angrily. He had gotten that out of his system now. "I'm sorry", he said, and Harry nodded. It wasn't often his dad apologised.

"Just... I'm sorry too, I didn't mean all of that", he mumbled and his dad patted his shoulder.

"Sure. Sure..." he said, his brows furrowing together in worry. Oh, not his dad too. He had been pretending everything was fine, like it was just like before. A part of Harry had been glad and a part of him had hated it.

"I... I loved him, dad. I do love him", Harry mumbled and his dad nodded, and the best way Harry could describe it was bravely.

"All right", he said, and his expression was only a little stiff.

"And I... I can't..." Harry looked down and sniffled. "He lied to me, but I still want him. Is that, am I-?"

"Sit down, Harry. Tell me about it."

Those words were so familiar. His dad used to say that every time Harry was upset or had done something wrong. 'Sit down, Harry, and tell me about it.'

Harry did and his dad pulled up another chair.

"It was fun. I practically lived in his flat. I liked it", Harry said, and his dad nodded, and listened. "It wasn't like other people I've gone out with, it was different. I liked... I like talking to him. He listens to me, he knows what I'm talking about. He's interesting. He's nice, when he wants to be."

"Yeah. Your mother keeps telling me so", he said with a small smile.

"He didn't tell me that he used to be a... a..." Harry couldn't say it, but his dad got the gist of it.

"I guess it's hard for him. He hasn't had it easy, and some of that crap was my fault. I was a bit of a jerk when I was younger, lucky your mum straightened me out. It still comes out sometimes, and I'm so sorry, Harry. I shouldn't have shouted at you."

Harry managed a smile. "That's okay. But I just don't get that, how you can just decide to go join up with him", he continued seriously.

"That's something you ought to talk to him about", he said, and patted Harry's shoulder again.

"That's what everyone keeps telling me", Harry grumbled.

"I know it must be tough, but don't run off, kid. Muster up some courage. After all, you are a Gryffindor."

"Yeah, yeah", Harry grumbled, and pulled a hand over his eyes in a tired gesture.

"And I can't come. You'll have to do this on your own", he said and Harry scrunched his face up.

"I know", he said and then turned to start to clear up the mess of the overturned trophies with his dad jumping to help him.

/

**A/N: ** Yes, James isn't just a dick (not all the time). He really took a turn in this chapter… What did you think?

Do you hate me? Or not?


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Sorry. Sorry, sorry. I lost the memory stick with the story on it... I'd put it in some clever place, and then I just could not find that clever place again. It's here now, though, so rejoice! The next chapter will come in next week!

/

Chapter 11

An Unexpected Visitor

_Severus_

Severus watched his eyes fill up with hurt and deceit. How could he not have told Harry this? No, he knew why he hadn't told him. Because he wouldn't have even looked his way if he'd known.

Those weeks and months afterwards he told himself that at least he didn't lie. It wasn't like Harry'd asked him and he had told him something that wasn't true. But it wasn't much of a comfort. He knew he'd done something terrible by not saying anything.

But it wasn't like it had nagged at the back of his mind during the entire time of their... affair. He had made his peace with the fact that he, for a time, counted himself to the dark side, and he rarely thought about it anymore. He had realised his mistake quickly, the first time The Dark Lord had killed someone. He'd gotten it all wrong and he had done his best to make up for it. That last time, before the ending of the first war, he worked for the light. When the Dark Lord had made the attempt to attack the Potter family, and then gotten reduced to that... thing, he had left. He had spent the next years in other parts of the world. During the second war, he was travelling around Russia, because if he meddled this time, Voldemort would have had him killed in some horrendous way. He had only been in Britain in short periods.

But that was still just his past. He hadn't seen any reason to tell Potter. Maybe he'd even forgotten it. Potter used to make him do that, focus on him and what they were doing, what they were talking about.

Without his meetings with Potter, everything seemed dreary. His flat seemed empty, without the smell of him, without him in his sofa, without his disgusting taste in take out. His work was boring without someone to talk to about it. His bed seemed empty.

But he dredged on as usual. He went to work and he came home and he... sat and stared at an empty piece of paper. He couldn't get the letter right. Maybe it was because he knew that if he did, if he sent it off, there wouldn't be anything else he could do. There wouldn't be anything else to focus on.

In the end he finished it anyway. It was probably just ramblings of 'please forgive me' and dumb reasons why he'd done what he'd done. And it didn't make him feel better. Not the slightest.

He didn't even consider going to visit him. If Harry didn't want him there, then... there was nothing he could do.

He got a permanent job at the Ministry. He figured he was going to stay in the country for a long time anyway, so he might as well get paid better. He got his own little office, or potions study, or whatever you wanted to call it. It had everything he needed to improve the Ministry's potions stock, to add his own little improved potions from all over the world.

He didn't let his misstep ruin his whole life. He wouldn't let the memory of his life not being completely dreadful ruin his entire existence.

He worked late. Even now, the last few days before Christmas, he told himself he had a ton of work to do. He dropped the dried oak leaves in and watched as they melted in the silvery liquid. He looked up at the small cough at the door way.

"What are the leaves for?" a girl asked, looking curiously around the room. She looked young, with big fluffy brown hair and hint of bunny teeth. Severus recognised her from somewhere but couldn't place her. Maybe he'd seen her around the building. It happened sometimes that other Ministry workers made it in to his little part of the big official house. Maybe she was here about paperwork, except that she didn't look the part.

"They make it taste better", Severus said, only because she seemed generally interested.

She nodded and took a step towards him. "I would have knocked, it's just that..."

"Fine. If you would just tell me why you're here", Severus said, and reduced the flames beneath the cauldron with a flick of his wand.

"Oh, sorry, sir. I'm..." she looked down and then up again with a small smile. "I'm just a big fan."

"A fan?" Severus asked, a little incredulously. People liked the effects of his potions, but rarely cared about the person who made them.

"Yes, sir. I loved your work with the Wolfsbane", she said, and peered into the cauldron.

"Thank you", Severus said, and then added, "Do you work here?"

"Yes. Not in this department, I considered a career in Potions, but decided against it. I work at the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. More specifically with Magical Creatures rights."

Severus didn't answer, but kept stirring the Agrippa.

"Agrippa? It looked like you were making a Shrinking Solution, but that doesn't have Agrippa in it. Unless you've changed the base ingredients?" she asked and Severus stopped.

"I have. It makes the effect longer. Theoretically, at least. I've yet to try it."

"But won't it react with the Shrivelfigs?" she asked and Severus smiled. She was bright.

"Everything reacts with Shrivelfigs unless you add something to change its effect a little. In this case I added Bulbadox juice."

"That's brilliant", she said and sat down on a stool. "Do you mind if I watch you work?"

Severus looked at her. She could be here to spy for ideas for someone else. But who cared? Plagiarism had happened to him before, and he had learned to not be offended. And she really seemed too sweet, or nerdy, to be a spy.

"Be my guest", he said and then dived back into his work. She came with interesting questions now and then which Severus was glad to answer. She seemed as absorbed in his work as he was.

When Severus finished working and she hadn't left, so he coughed gently. She looked up from a paper, Severus didn't know what it was, probably one of his notes. She looked around her, and then let out a small laugh.

"Oh. You want me to leave, right?"

"That would be... Yes, I want you to leave", he said and she nodded, and then put the paper down slowly.

"Look. I'm a friend of Harry's", she said, smiling faintly.

Severus swallowed. Of course she was. He hadn't heard his name in months. It hurt that it should be sprung on him now, when he had just gotten it out of his head.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to talk to you", she said. "Harry doesn't know I'm here."

Severus wondered how much she knew about the whole thing. She was looking at him in a way that made Severus think that she knew a whole lot.

They were quiet for a long time, during which Severus tried to pretend to be busy with cleaning up. In the end, the only thing he said was, "How is he?"

She gave him a half smile. "He's... He's getting by."

Severus swallowed again. What was that supposed to mean? Was he upset? Had he moved on completely? Or was he just getting by?

"And how are you doing?" she continued.

Severus opened his mouth to answer and then he closed it again. He shook his head.

"All right", she said, simply.

"Why are you here?" Severus asked, taking the conversation in a new direction, any direction away from him.

"I was just... curious. I get like that. I wanted to know who made Harry... act all loveydovey and then... Well, he feels really crappy."

"I'm sorry. I... I don't know what to say." Severus sat down and moved a strand of hair from his face. "This situation is just..."

"Yeah", she said. "It's tricky."

It wasn't just tricky. It was terrible. It was one of the worst moments of Severus' life. And that was saying a lot.

"You should talk to him", she said.

"Look, miss...?" he asked.

"Oh, Granger."

"... Granger. I'm assuming you know Harry well. It's not likely that he would want to talk to me, nor want to forgive me."

"You could always try. You both seem like you deserve it", she smiled, again. She was really being overly nice to him.

"I sent him a letter", Severus said, and she huffed, like a letter was a poor attempt. "But he didn't reply."

"Of course he didn't. Would you?" she asked and raised her eyebrows.

Severus didn't answer, instead glared at her. "Look, I appreciate you coming here, but, I think it's time for you to leave."

"You're so alike", she said, still smiling.

"I doubt it."

"Yes, you are. So stubborn." She started rolling together the parchment she'd been reading, putting it on the working table between them. "I should be leaving, anyway. It was nice talking to you. I really am a fan."

"Do you...?" Severus asked, and she turned away from the door.

"Yes?"

"Nothing. You're a very bright witch. If you change your mind about your career, you're very welcome to a job here."

"Thank you, sir", she said. "By the way, I would appreciate it if you didn't mention it to Harry that I visited here."

Severus nodded, even though he couldn't believe that he would ever talk to Harry again. But she seemed so sure that he just went along with it. She left and shut the door behind her, and Severus picked up where he had left off on preparing the Shrinking Solution, to keep from going home to an empty and cold house.

/

**A/N: **Yes, that was a tad bit depressing. But the next chapter is the last one, and I promise it will raise the mood.

I actually did some research for this chapter, I found out a lot about potions. Hope it showed? And hope you like it, and as always, review and make my day!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The Happy Ending

_Harry_

Harry went to his apartment. He figured he'd find him there, seeing as that was where he lived.

He kicked at the soft, wet snow on the street and glanced up at his window. It was dark and cold outside, and the light was on in Snape's flat and Harry knew it would be warm and nice there, still he considered staying outside. He wondered what Snape would say if he found him lying frozen to death on his front steps, but couldn't come up with the answer.

Harry allowed himself a cigarette as he waited for that Gryffindor courage to appear in his gut. It didn't. He sucked on his cigarette till it was just filter, and he still didn't want to go up there. He sighed and flicked the cigarette into the snow and watched as the glow went out.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't walk up there like nothing had happened, like they were going to spend an afternoon in bed like before. He couldn't.

It started to snow. Harry reached his hand out and caught a snowflake, and it melted on his palm. He shook his head and his entire body seemed to slump together. He couldn't. He...

"Harry?"

Harry turned around and there he was. Just as bad boy and irresistible as before. His stomach twisted up in a knot just looking at him.

"Yeah?" Harry said, like it was a coincidence they'd bumped into each other just outside Snape's apartment.

"Come upstairs", he said, and Harry realised how much he'd missed his voice. He wanted to touch him so bad, and at the same time, he wanted to scream at him and hit him.

"All right", he settled with and left the snow and the cold outside to the warmth of Snape's flat. The place smelled just like he'd remembered it, like a mixture of that soap Snape used and the dark, dusty smell of a potions lab. Harry remembered a time he'd showered at Snape's house and gone around smelling like him for days.

"You can sit, if you like", Snape said, and Harry did. He settled in the couch and managed to take up all of it, to make sure Snape understood to sit in one of the armchairs instead. He got the hint and sat awkwardly opposite from Harry.

"I'm so sorry", he started, but Harry's expression must have stopped him from saying anything else.

"Yeah", Harry mumbled. His anger was starting to come back, so he decided to talk about something else. "Where were you going just now?"

Snape was still wearing his thick, winter cloak. "I was, um, going to your flat."

"Oh. I had good timing, then."

Or bad. Depending on how you looked at it and how this conversation went.

"Yes", he said, and started to slide his cloak off. When he was done, he looked at Harry with those black - no, dark brown - eyes. "Did you get my letter?"

"Yeah, I got it."

Snape looked down at the table. "I don't suppose you read it?"

"No", Harry just said.

"Will you let me explain now?"

Harry's stomach was hurting so bad that he was seriously wondering if there was something wrong with him. Would he? Why would he have come here otherwise?

"Go ahead", he said and Snape swallowed. He seemed as nervous as when they'd first kissed.

And he told him all about how screwed up he was when he was younger, how he had seen Voldemort as a way away from his family and his bullies and everyone else who looked down on him. And then when he'd seen what Voldemort could do with his own eyes, he'd hated it. He'd hated himself. Snape told him how he'd worked for the light side almost the entire year before Voldemort's fall, and that he'd then taken the opportunity to get away from everything.

"I never hurt anyone", he said. "I want you to know that. I never killed anyone, or... or anything else."

"Well, that makes it okay, then", he grumbled, that little monster inside him wanting to rip him to pieces.

"No, it doesn't. I know that."

"You know, lots of people have messed up childhoods, but they don't go off to join Voldemort", Harry bit out, feeling only a little unfair. He felt bad when he saw Snape flinch at the name.

"I know. But I did", he said, and he sounded weak, and extremely sorry. "I don't know what kind of a person that makes me, but... I've bettered myself. I'm not that person anymore."

So he'd _changed_. What a fucking cliché.

"And you couldn't have told me this?" Harry asked. "I had to find out from my dad?"

"I'm sorry about that. I should have told you, I just... I didn't think about it. And you... When I realised I hadn't told you about that part of my past, it was, well... It was too late. You would have been just as angry with me if it had been me who had told you."

"Not if you had explained it like this", Harry said and fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "But now I got a pissed of father yelling that you were like the devil himself."

Snape smiled cautiously, and Harry returned it.

"Am I forgiven?" he asked and Harry looked down at his hands.

"Do you understand how hard this is for me? How much of a hypocrite it will make me to forgive you?" he asked and Snape just looked at him. "I'm practically the poster boy for the light side."

But in reality, Harry didn't care if it made him the biggest hypocrite in the world. He loved him. Even if he was angry at him for not telling him sooner, at the same time he was happier now than he'd been in months.

"I understand that", Snape said, and he moved from his seat to a sort of half standing, half kneeling position on the floor by the couch. His hand came up to Harry's and Harry kept his eyes on their intwined fingers instead of his pleading eyes.

Harry realised he could just let it go. He could just let his stomach relax and untwine that uncomfortable knot and kiss him. So he did.

/

The fire was coming along nicely. His dad always insisted that they barbecued the muggle way (it made it taste better, somehow) and that usually took ages. But it was right in time. Harry suspected that after an hour had passed with nothing but smoke, Snape had used his wand behind his dad's back. And dad would never know.

It was early for a barbecue, only March, but they'd gone ahead anyway. The weather was perfect, even if it got a little chilly in the afternoon.

Everyone was there, in the back yard. His parents, Alice, Hermione, Ron, Sirius, Remus. And of course, Snape.

"How's it going?" Harry asked his dad, who of course was on cooking service.

"Great. Although Harry, you might wanna stay between your little boyfriend and Sirius, because they look like they're gonna tear each other to shreds", he said, and squinted over to the table, where Sirius and Snape were glaring at each other.

"Oh, they're fine", Harry said dismissively and poked a beef with a fork. Some juice seeped out and crackled against the coal.

His dad shrugged. "Don't come running to me when they start losing ears and toes."

Harry laughed and left to go get the vegetables and side dishes. The house was dark compared to outside, and Harry had to take a while to get his eyes used to it.

Hermione and Ron were in the kitchen, kissing. Harry made a big deal of stomping his feet and they stopped and looked up at him with red cheeks.

"Hey, we're not paying you to snog. Start chopping tomatoes, house-elves", Harry said and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You don't pay house-elves, Harry. That's the whole deal", she said and then added, "And that's a really offensive thing to say."

Ron nodded when Hermione looked at him sharply. "Yeah, Harry. Not funny. And besides, aren't I too handsome to be a house-elf?"

Hermione hit his chest with a serious face and Harry suspected he'd gotten Ron in trouble.

He snuck out the door again and returned to the table without any vegetables.

"What are we talking about?" Harry asked and slumped in his chair between Snape and Uncle Remus.

"School", Sirius said, and sounded gleeful.

"Sirius is just being an idiot", Remus said, and glared at his friend.

"What?" Sirius said with a small, nasty laugh. "I was just saying it's incredible how little things have changed since then."

"Hm", Harry said, thoughtfully. "Were you a dick then as well?"

Sirius' smile faded, but Snape started chuckling.

"He was", he mumbled and Harry smiled and leaned over and kissed him slowly, just to make Sirius go red and start to blubber things about food and unhygienic activities.

"Shut up, Padfoot", Remus said and then they started to bicker. Harry didn't mind. They'd eventually settled down, and serve the food (which would in fact be ridiculously good) and people would try to be nice to each other, which was really all Harry could ask for. And afterwards they could all go home, and Harry could go to his flat, and Snape could come with him.

"What are you grinning at?" Snape mumbled next to Harry's ear, and Harry turned to him, his grin not diminishing the slightest.

"Oh, nothing", he said and kissed him, again making Sirius burst out in halfhearted protests that everyone ignored.

**A/N: **There, finished. I thought it would be fitting to upload it on the day I saw the last movie. I'm in a sort of numbed shock, I think. (I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it.)

Comments and reviews are always appreciated!


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